Cecil Baldwin
speaker
912 appearances
6 recordings
1 series
first heard Aug 2026
last heard 15 Sep
Cecil Baldwin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 6 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 4.
Appearances
Sheriff, you gotta see this, the officer said.
Cheryl shouted, no, leave them alone.
And by them, Cheryl meant the dozens of sentient beanie babies that came walking out into the warehouse, chattering in a cute little squeaky language no one could understand.
Sheriff Dan squealed in fright and skittered back against the wall, screaming, Get them away, get them away
But the little plush creatures showed no aggression.
They only wanted to dance with each other, pressing their bodies together in ways that made everyone else uncomfortable.
Still, the toys were clearly not a threat.
Cheryl told Josie that these possessed beanies kept showing up to every single dance party she threw.
And then they just kept coming here, even when there wasn't a rave.
They were happiest when they could be where the dancing happened.
At first, Cheryl just wanted to move them on to happy homes, so she started selling them off as collectibles, assuming that people who spent big money would protect these little critters from all harm.
But then Cheryl began to question why they existed at all.
There were all these missing young people, Cheryl heard it on the news.
Plus, fewer and fewer human attendees at her raves, and more and more dancing beanies.
And then she put it together.
I don't have solid proof yet, Cheryl said, but I think Reverend McLean has something to do with it.
As she said this, laughter came from the front of the warehouse.
It was Reverend Robert McLean and his Eighth Baptist protesters carrying anti-youth signs and flaming torches.
McLean laughed haughtily again, like a villain in the final act of a James Bond film, and said, You don't know the half of it, child.
See, we at the Eighth Baptist Church have been developing a machine that will turn young people into fully formed adults.
Showing 701–720 of 912 · page 36 of 46
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