Cecil Baldwin
speaker
912 appearances
6 recordings
1 series
first heard Aug 2026
last heard 15 Sep
Cecil Baldwin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 6 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 4.
Appearances
Flames, green smoke, and sparkly purple smoke were reported.
The smell of sizzling flesh was reported.
The sounds of wailing and eternal lament were reported.
Blair Powell attempted to run for the shelter of the Hickory Farms Mirage, where many are currently feasting on free samples, but was dragged by some invisible force back across the sand to the mall site.
He was last seen riding down one of the escalators against his will, stuck to the scalding staircase like a magnet,
descending into the darkness of the bottomless ravine and shrieking, no, no, give me another week.
I swear I'm good for it.
Then the earth closed up again, and that was the last anyone ever saw of Blair Powell.
I mean, this only happened a few minutes ago, but I feel confident saying ever because no one comes back from the underworld.
Much like fried ice cream, the underworld is forever.
A legal notice was left behind informing citizens that the development and ownership of the mall will henceforth belong to a soul-devouring entity called Abyssos, infinitely, for all time, per the condition of Powell's defaulted loan.
I'm personally hopeful about this change in leadership.
Not to speak ill of the recently damned, but Blair was never great about seeing things through.
Oh, he had a lot of big ideas, sure.
but the dude was a flake.
Again, no offense.
Looking at the situation optimistically though, we can all agree that the completion of the mall is critical to our community, and soul devourers do tend to have a strong work ethic.
Like, I recently hired one to remodel the efficiency kitchen in my bachelor pad, and it got done in like a day.
So let's all just take a chill pill and see what happens.
Oh, speaking of, I just learned where the phrase chill pill comes from.
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