Chandler Hallow

I wasn't, I don't know, you know, I'm young and innocent. Like I didn't,

And that really helped, you know? Yeah.

Well, I talked to my dad cause he's like, he went through a lot of that stuff that I went through like time, like times 10 probably, you know? And, um, He was just like, why? Why did you do that stuff? I was like, I don't know.

yeah i mean he showed me grace and like he was just thankful that i wasn't doing that stuff anymore he wasn't like right there was no he was not making me feel guilty or shameful at all yeah because you know thankfully you know but the first the day that i had those trash bags right i text my brother zach i'm like i sent him a picture i'm like bro i'm throwing all this away like i'm done like just like

was happy to share like I was like thankful like yeah I was like bro look like yeah and um and then he calls me he was like bro I've been praying for you for months like crying out to God like that he would just do something and I just like broke down like I didn't know he was praying for me you know yeah and then my sister's paying for me like they're praying for me all the time crying like to God that he would do something in me whoa and I like I

And I just like, I was just so thankful and like started crying. Like I couldn't believe like they were praying for me and they didn't tell me like, you know?

It was just, I was just like, wow.

Definitely. I think prayer is very powerful, and I want to just learn more about it and have God use me to do that. And I think that I've always prayed in tongues. I had the gift of praying in tongues, and I think everyone does in Christ. But for as long as I can remember, I was praying in tongues. I don't even remember the first time I did, even before.

I had like my falling out with God, like extreme falling out, I guess you would say. Even when I was younger, like I would just do it because like my mom and dad were like normalizing it, you know? So, and I feel like, I've been doing it already without knowing it. Does that make sense? Just praying for people like intercessing through prayer for others.

Yeah, I think I definitely have a heart for that. God's given me a heart for that. Well, yeah, it's cool.

Yeah. Over two years. Maybe a little bit longer. Because I got baptized again. Or not again, but I got baptized for the first time over two years ago. Was it over two years ago? Well. Because he was there. Let's go. Me and my wife got baptized at the same time. That's cool. That's awesome. And yeah, I really actually like, like, this is the real deal, you know, like, yeah, it's not fake.

Yeah. I mean, definitely, like, I had my mom's, like, and my dad's faith. Like, I didn't have that relationship with God that they did, you know? Yeah. I'm going to church because they do. Yeah. Like, I didn't fully understand it. And then it's really when I moved out of my house, my mom's house, that's when I started falling away from Christ. And when was that? Yeah, when was that?

I got I have a relationship with Jesus, you know, like, it's awesome.

I just want to, for me, it's like, all right, God, I want to be like you so that I can serve my wife and my family and lead them by being a servant, you know, like you were when you were here on this earth. Um, so yeah, just like, uh, I've been praying for God to give me just like a servant's heart for, for my wife and my family and others really. That's like something I've been praying for.

Dang.

Uh, for, for men. Cause I mean, I'm not a woman, so I don't really, I don't know how to speak on that. I would just lock in with the Lord, like really lock in with God and just have a relationship with him first so that you can know how to love your partner correctly. How, how Jesus loves. Yeah. Not the definition of the worldly love that we were taught, you know, apart from Christ.

Um, that's a main thing. ask God to teach you how to love others correctly like he does and um just know the word and no I mean the Bible talks about relationships like you need to love your partner how God loves the church you know yeah like and that's what that's really what I go off of for me so Man, get right with God first. Like, really lock in with him.

And then the relationship will be easy. God will help you find a partner that's suitable for you. Yeah. And you won't have to struggle to find someone that you click with, you know. Because you're going to know. Right. Because you're so, like, the Holy Spirit's just going to reveal to you, like, nah, this ain't it. Right. Or this is it right here, you know. Dang. Yeah, that's just, I don't know.

You're definitely right. Be patient, man. You're going to have to be more patient than you think. And then when you're more patient than you think, be even more patient.

Do not wait. I'm really, like, trying to figure out, like, which I know in my spirit, but, like, my flesh is, like, so weak. Yeah. Yeah. Just being obedient on time, like, when God tells me to do something, like, I, like, think too much. I'm, like, was that God or was that me making this up or, like, you know? Yeah, yeah. But I just got to be obedient. Yeah. Whenever I hear it, yeah. Dang.

That's what I'm trying to really practice.

18. So I was right out of high school.

Where'd you go to college? Yeah, I went to college at Chowan University to play baseball. Okay. For a year. And I was hurt the whole year, so I didn't even play. My arm was trashed. Just from a young age. Yeah. Just overuse and... that kind of stuff. Right. So I went there, you know, was not looking for God whatsoever. I was drinking and smoking, um, you know, do whatever I wanted.

my i did not transform overnight you know definitely did not there's a a process to to this if that makes sense yeah is it was definitely like a long time before i'm into this position now god has really transformed me and changed me you know and something i was struggling with is um I was trying to abide by the law, like with some certain things that I was like constantly doing. Why?

Why can I not stop doing this? Right.

And then I read Ezekiel and. It was like, I think Ezekiel 33. God has given you a new spirit and a new heart or heart of flesh. Yeah, Ezekiel 36. Yeah, 36. So you can obey his commands and statutes. So you can keep his commands and statutes, something like that. like getting a new heart, a new spirit causes you to do that. So like once I read that, like I just didn't do it anymore.

I feel like freed me of trying to like do it myself. Yeah. Like God's giving me a new heart and a new spirit. And I don't have to try to not do that anymore because my spirit is renewed and my heart is renewed now. I just do it automatically because he gave me that, right?

And that, like, freed me from the things I was trying to stop doing.

You know?

Yeah, it was awesome.

but I wouldn't have read that if I wasn't, you know, seeking the word. Like if I were just been like, cause the thing is I was going to stop reading. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna stop on this chapter. And then the guy was like, keep going. All right. I'll stop on the next one. Nah, keep going. And I got to Ezekiel 36 and I read that and man, I was like, thank you.

Thank you so much for telling me to keep reading. Cause I wouldn't have seen that, you know, without that.

And I was struggling for that for like a week because I was like, why can't I stop doing this or doing that? Like, I'm trying so hard. Right. And God was just like, you don't have to try anymore. I've given you that new heart, new spirit. Dang. So that's something. Yeah. God will transform you. It's not going to happen overnight. I mean, some people, boom, they're radically changed overnight.

Yeah, this is the first real one.

Right. But for me, it was a process for sure.

And then I went back here home and, and started working for Jimmy and there's like maybe seven of us at the time. Right. So I'm just like doing whatever they need to do. Um, hourly, um, janitor, that's a title. And then I would just clean before and after video shoots or in like buy supplies that we need. So that was kind of my role. And then, um, yeah, I was still just falling away from God.

i was blind for sure like yeah i felt it but i couldn't see it you know whoa like i felt like in my spirit like i wasn't doing right but i couldn't see myself yeah in my i don't know darkness yeah i guess but yeah that's definitely very true yeah yeah i guess my last question before we close would be um i know you mentioned like when you were reading ezekiel that the lord was telling you like no keep going keep going yeah

I guess in the for that example when I was reading it's like a gut feeling like yeah don't stop reading like just keep going just a little bit keep going and then I'm like alright well I'm going but like I'm not feeling any different like I'm not getting any revelation blah blah blah right until I got it you know yeah so in that example it was more of like a gut feeling and thought but I mean

when I'm praying, I'll get like visions, stuff like that. God will show me things in my head, in my head. Yeah. Or I'll get, um, words, you know, but I'm more, I'm more like I get visions. I don't really get like a lot of words.

But some people hear God's voice audibly. I've never really heard it out loud. Like I'm speaking to you.

You know? Yeah. But that's just like, everybody's different. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. God will speak to people differently. yeah but yeah mainly it's definitely like thoughts and gut feelings like to do something like my spirit is like pulling me towards doing this right that makes sense

Yeah, of course.

Like, cause I didn't have anyone to like, I wasn't seeking God myself and I didn't have anyone around me to, I guess, help me. Yeah.

I would do all the things that a Christian does, but I didn't have that relationship. I wasn't a troubled person or anything. I was definitely happy in high school and all that.

All the people I, like, went to high school with, we did the same things. Had a great family. Had a great life. Like, some of our friends in high school went to, like, Christian school, like, in middle school or something. And then, it's like, once you get out of, like, the, your parents, like, home, that's when, like, you really know, like, if you had that relationship with God or not.

Definitely just getting approval from God.

like people around me you know like that's the cool thing to do like oh you don't drink you don't smoke or like hey we're gonna go to this party um parties involve drinking or smoking stuff like that you know right but um probably that you know just the approval of man was the ultimate thing i was looking for in that yeah i think it was like enticing you know until i was I guess doing it.

And I wanted to do it more and more.

Yeah, for sure.

yeah like i like when i'm living on my own right because i i now i'm i'm out of college i didn't go back i'm working for the company and i have enough money to live on my own so i'm just living by myself i can buy whatever i want like i'm buying drugs buying alcohol and i'm smoking all day like i don't do anything but smoke and just chill in the house and then go to work yeah and

And at night, you know, that's when the enemy will attack you when you're alone, like, at night.

And just start saying things to you in your head, like, and I would just pray, like, all the time, like, at night. But during the day, I'm living differently, right? I'm praying, like, God to, like, do something. Like, I don't want to live like this, but I continue to do it, you know?

yeah and i'm just like i don't know what to do you know i keep praying at night and then the next day i'll do the things i don't want to do damn no there's what's that the verse that says that exact thing i don't know yeah paul paul writes in romans but yeah that was doing that for like two years out of college like once i dropped out i was doing that for a good two three years

yeah definitely shame like because of the way I grew up and now I'm doing this like me not wanting to see my mom and dad because of the way I am I'm like they're gonna like be like oh my gosh what the heck is wrong with you you know like right I would not go see my parents even though we live in the same town because I was so ashamed of what I was doing dang you know

And I know it would just break my mom's heart to, like, see me like that. So I wouldn't go see them. But, yeah, that was definitely part of it. And then just guilt of what I was doing, you know, smoking, drinking, doing psychedelics, doing other drugs, you know. Yeah. You know, fornicating outside of marriage, stuff like that. Yeah. All of it. Yeah.

Dude, it's really my family praying for me for sure. Like if I didn't have people praying for me, I don't know, like, Because I had a radical encounter in my kitchen as I'm just moping around. I'm depressed. I feel alone. I'm just by myself in my house. And I hear God speak to me in my head. He goes, what are you doing? Like, clear as day.

Yeah. Yeah, my mom and dad were in church. We all would go to church from a young age. I was like, yeah, I grew up in the church and then. Yeah. I mean, I claim to know Jesus and accept it as my Lord and savior. But when you're, when I'm young, like I wasn't like on fire for God, you know, I'm just like, that's all I thought you had to do really, you know? Right.

And I, like, froze, like, because I'm just walking around in a circle, like, in my, around the island, like, the island kitchen or whatever.

And he goes, what are you doing? And I go, what am I doing? My head just freezed like that. And I look at my hands, like, I started looking at my body, like, what am I doing? You know, like, God just, like, peeled the scales off my eyes right then, like, boom. Whoa. And I was, like, just, like, shocked at myself, like, I got to stop this now. God just opened my eyes to what I was doing.

I just threw everything away right then and there. I had two giant trash bags full of paraphernalia that I just threw out. Whoa. Yeah. That was the first step, I guess, towards reconciling my relationship with God.

Well, I mean, I've had that thought of like, you know, I'm just going to finish this and then not buy more.

But like, you know, that's like. never works right yeah why I just would never do it but then like when I don't know God's just actually like stop me in my tracks like walking said what are you doing yeah well yeah

Cause I know myself, like if I try to wean off of something, it's not going to happen. I got to just struggle. I got to just go through the struggle to get free of that. Like, cause I was also like vaping, like doing like nicotine and stuff. So I was, uh, I was vaping, smoking weed, drinking, doing other drugs as well.

And, um, And the nicotine was tough, bro. Like, you can't wean off that stuff. You just got to get rid of it, like, and then struggle for how long it takes for you to not want it anymore, you know?

In my opinion, like, but that's how I did it. I just quit, like, everything.

You know? And I knew I wouldn't get through it unless I just, like, relied on God.

You know? Because there's people around me that still do the things that I was doing. Right. I just kind of, like, really rely on God to get me through this.

Reminding myself, like, like speaking life over myself, like to myself, like in a quiet voice, I would do that. I'd be like, God, like help me right now. Like,

like, I would go to him, like, you know, if I'm feeling tempted, I know this now, like, what I was doing, but I didn't know I was doing that, I was just, like, like, praying to God, like, God, I just need you to get rid of this craving, like, help me, like, and then I would go back to talking to whoever I was talking to, like, you know, I would just do stuff like that, like,