Charles Duhigg

And then there's emotional conversations where I tell you what I'm feeling, but I don't want you to solve my feelings.

I want you to empathize.

And then there's social conversations, which are a lot of politics conversations are this, where we're talking about identities.

We're talking about what we think of other people, what matters to us as values.

And what researchers have found is that if we're not having the same kind of conversation at the same moment, we cannot fully hear each other.

And so one of the big arguments of super communicators is there is a science to how we communicate.

There are skills that we can learn to become better communicators.

And when we learn those skills, it teaches us how to match each other better, have the same kind of conversation.

And ultimately, even if we disagree with each other, we will feel more connected to each other.

As a result, it's hardwired into our brains.

That's exactly right.

And in fact, they want empathy.

They don't want your solution.

They want your empathy.

And when I come home and I start complaining about my day, my wife will often say to me, do you want me to help you figure out how to solve this or do you just need to vent and get it off your chest?

In other words, do you want to have a practical conversation or an emotional conversation?

And actually, I love when she asks that.

Like it shows that she actually is like thinking about me.

And I usually say like, no, I just need to vent.

This is just so annoying.