Charlotte Cummings

A really good example of that is with perfectionism.

Well, sometimes in life we want to be perfect at something.

And we want to apply.

Absolutely.

My husband's a helicopter pilot.

His unbearable feeling is failing.

I'm like, you definitely want to be flying around high up in the sky with this complicated machine with someone who does not like to fail.

Like, this is a good thing.

People build their whole careers around their unbearable feeling often as well.

It's the thing we're celebrated for.

If you want to be well paid, get great at your unbearable feeling.

It's kind of how society works.

But we can come to a place where actually we're in charge of this.

So we're not on the run from the feeling.

We can risk feeling it.

So we might apply our perfectionism in areas of our life that really matter to us, in areas that line up with our values or that get us ahead.

And we might then be able to turn that perfectionism down on things that don't really matter to us.

We need to be in control of ourselves and how we apply ourselves across our lives.

Yeah.

And life gets better when we embrace those things that we're good at, but in a way that we're not being run by our own fears.