Chelsea Handler

She understood his body type the way I did, like just a bundle of meat, you know? And he was, and she was like, why is Bert acting? I'm like, he's sick. He's sick. Cause I know, you know, like I'm not going to bring a crystal meth to the fucking first lady. And my brother Roy's out there and I knew he was about to fucking say something. I'm like, you shut up.

She understood his body type the way I did, like just a bundle of meat, you know? And he was, and she was like, why is Bert acting? I'm like, he's sick. He's sick. Cause I know, you know, like I'm not going to bring a crystal meth to the fucking first lady. And my brother Roy's out there and I knew he was about to fucking say something. I'm like, you shut up.

Do not tell, you know how Republican first ladies act about drugs. You know, there's a war on them and I don't want them to think me and my loose lifestyle that I'm drugging my dogs. So it was pretty ridiculous. They recovered, I think. You think? Wait, and so now do you have new dogs? I have a new dog, Doug. Doug. Yeah, he's black and beautiful. He's a full chow. Oh.

Do not tell, you know how Republican first ladies act about drugs. You know, there's a war on them and I don't want them to think me and my loose lifestyle that I'm drugging my dogs. So it was pretty ridiculous. They recovered, I think. You think? Wait, and so now do you have new dogs? I have a new dog, Doug. Doug. Yeah, he's black and beautiful. He's a full chow. Oh.

Do not tell, you know how Republican first ladies act about drugs. You know, there's a war on them and I don't want them to think me and my loose lifestyle that I'm drugging my dogs. So it was pretty ridiculous. They recovered, I think. You think? Wait, and so now do you have new dogs? I have a new dog, Doug. Doug. Yeah, he's black and beautiful. He's a full chow. Oh.

Yeah, and a rescue, a full chow rescue. What? Yeah, yeah. Are you lying? No. No, no, no. I think our dogs need to meet. I would never lie about anything. I mean, why would I? I don't know. I have nothing to hide. You don't lie ever? You think after everything that I've divulged today, I'm going to lie about my dog being a rescue? I mean, honestly, Alex Cooper.

Yeah, and a rescue, a full chow rescue. What? Yeah, yeah. Are you lying? No. No, no, no. I think our dogs need to meet. I would never lie about anything. I mean, why would I? I don't know. I have nothing to hide. You don't lie ever? You think after everything that I've divulged today, I'm going to lie about my dog being a rescue? I mean, honestly, Alex Cooper.

Yeah, and a rescue, a full chow rescue. What? Yeah, yeah. Are you lying? No. No, no, no. I think our dogs need to meet. I would never lie about anything. I mean, why would I? I don't know. I have nothing to hide. You don't lie ever? You think after everything that I've divulged today, I'm going to lie about my dog being a rescue? I mean, honestly, Alex Cooper.

Just God forbid you want to like get more street cred. No, no, no. You don't give a shit. I bought a dog once. I returned him though. Oh, fuck. Yeah. That's worse to admit. He was a loser. He was a loser, that dog. Why? Because he's such a fucking lunatic. I don't like... I like lazy dogs. Yeah. But this dog I have now, Doug, he's black. I wanted a dog of color. Yeah. And he is so...

Just God forbid you want to like get more street cred. No, no, no. You don't give a shit. I bought a dog once. I returned him though. Oh, fuck. Yeah. That's worse to admit. He was a loser. He was a loser, that dog. Why? Because he's such a fucking lunatic. I don't like... I like lazy dogs. Yeah. But this dog I have now, Doug, he's black. I wanted a dog of color. Yeah. And he is so...

Just God forbid you want to like get more street cred. No, no, no. You don't give a shit. I bought a dog once. I returned him though. Oh, fuck. Yeah. That's worse to admit. He was a loser. He was a loser, that dog. Why? Because he's such a fucking lunatic. I don't like... I like lazy dogs. Yeah. But this dog I have now, Doug, he's black. I wanted a dog of color. Yeah. And he is so...

beautiful and friendly and a real dog. Like I've had such zombies for dogs for so long because I don't really wanna exercise with them and do that stuff. That I appreciate dogs that are a little bit on the lazy side. I've never had a dog like Doug and he just brings so much joy to everyone he meets. He looks like a bear. Do you ever bring your dogs to dog parks? I don't.

beautiful and friendly and a real dog. Like I've had such zombies for dogs for so long because I don't really wanna exercise with them and do that stuff. That I appreciate dogs that are a little bit on the lazy side. I've never had a dog like Doug and he just brings so much joy to everyone he meets. He looks like a bear. Do you ever bring your dogs to dog parks? I don't.

beautiful and friendly and a real dog. Like I've had such zombies for dogs for so long because I don't really wanna exercise with them and do that stuff. That I appreciate dogs that are a little bit on the lazy side. I've never had a dog like Doug and he just brings so much joy to everyone he meets. He looks like a bear. Do you ever bring your dogs to dog parks? I don't.

I try not to go to dog parks. I've had some of the worst interactions with human beings at dog parks.

I try not to go to dog parks. I've had some of the worst interactions with human beings at dog parks.

I try not to go to dog parks. I've had some of the worst interactions with human beings at dog parks.

I was looking for Doug. Actually, they were bringing Doug to showcase me this chow rescue that I got my last dogs from. They knew I was down one dog and looking for, you know, a refill. So they brought these two dogs to a dog park in Brentwood. I went to the wrong dog park and I opened, you know how they have those metal gates? Yeah.

I was looking for Doug. Actually, they were bringing Doug to showcase me this chow rescue that I got my last dogs from. They knew I was down one dog and looking for, you know, a refill. So they brought these two dogs to a dog park in Brentwood. I went to the wrong dog park and I opened, you know how they have those metal gates? Yeah.

I was looking for Doug. Actually, they were bringing Doug to showcase me this chow rescue that I got my last dogs from. They knew I was down one dog and looking for, you know, a refill. So they brought these two dogs to a dog park in Brentwood. I went to the wrong dog park and I opened, you know how they have those metal gates? Yeah.