Chris Cella
speaker
267 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Chris Cella’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And this guy has already booked it like over, um, over a fence and he's gone. Like he is gone. Um, And so, I, like, I get out of the pool, and I try to climb the fence, and I still have my backpack on. And, you know, I was, like, soaking wet, and I couldn't climb. It was too heavy.
So, I just shed the backpack and just hopped the fence, and I'm running down this hill, and I run face first into a chain link fence.
Yeah. And, and my face is like, you know, so now my face is bleeding and my hands are bleeding from climbing the fence and like, and I don't have any shoes on. And so, so I am just so cold and so miserable. And so I, there was a like a hill. And then there was a grocery store, kind of a little strip mall type place. And so I go down there and I look for the sketchiest person possible.
Like, you know, just... You can tell. Yeah. Yeah. They're using my radar. And I was like, hey, man, can I use your phone to call attack? Because I knew if I asked any normal person, they saw me with blood on my face and no shoes on. They'd be like, get the fuck away from me, sir, please. But no, they were... They were really nice.
They let me use their phone and I called a taxi, jumped into the taxi. I was like, please turn the heat up as high as you can. And I went home and at first my parents weren't going to let me in. And I was like, listen, I'm probably going to get hypothermia if you don't let me in, please. I was like, I will do whatever you want. I will go anywhere. I just please.
And I remember like going into their room and just like wrapping myself up in a giant blanket. And I was like, I'd never felt so relieved in my life.
I think it was someone who like because the house, it turns out the house was for rent and it was it was there was no one in it. And so I didn't know, of course, I didn't know that. He said, yeah, this is a spot that we can go to. I just assumed it was another dope fiends. Another dope fiend's place. And yeah, all that.
And, you know, one thing that really breaks my heart is like, it's really the, yeah, one of the most, I'd say, difficult things that I had to accept that I did was because my dad would, from time to time, figure out where I was and go to these, you know, these crack houses and places like that and beg me to come home.
And I remember one time specifically, he said, please, please, Chris, please come home. Like, your family loves you. Please. In tears. And my dad doesn't cry. Uh, and, and I was just like, no. And he's like, okay, well at least take, and he gave me his, um, his crucifix and, uh, St. Christopher medal. Um, I still have, I broke the chain, but I still have them today, uh, to this day. And, uh.
Gosh, even then it tore me up, you know, because I just wasn't ready to stop. And I didn't know, like, you know, I didn't want to cause this pain and suffering that my parents were feeling. And so I drowned it out with just more use and, you know, to try to... You can see how that happens.
2016 how long did it take to get back your equilibrium for your brain to start functioning as it had before you started using opioids um honestly i don't know that it will it it has ever gotten back to where it was before but i think that it took about i would say like
nine months to a year to like get like the all like to get the fog out and like you know have like because like my memory was shot just everything was like depleted and so in order to get you know to get those receptors and everything firing again to get my brain back to where it needed to be yeah i just um it was hard uh what are the long-term longer-term effects
I would say, I'd say memory loss is definitely a thing. Equilibrium, like I have a very bad equilibrium, like people think I'm drunk sometimes because I'll like stumble, but it's just like, no, I'm just, yeah, my equilibrium is off. And I mean, obviously, you know, long term, like things like anxiety, you know, you know, it's ironic because a lot of people use anxiety.
heroin to treat their anxiety and um but it causes you know again it's the rebound effect um and uh so yeah anxiety depression um just yeah a myriad of i have known you know people addicted to opioids and have heard that it affects your ability to feel happiness once you're off it Yeah, I would say that. Yeah, I didn't.
I always and I, you know, and even to this day, like, have this kind of sense sometimes of like imposter syndrome. Like, I like, you know, you know, for example, like getting a job in Congress working for Matt Gaetz and having Matt Gaetz compliment me and tell me and say all these nice things about me. It's like. I don't feel like I deserve this praise, you know?
I mean, sure, I'm a, like, I'm a decent person. But yeah, it's like, it took me a while to just understand that, like, yeah, I am worthy of these. I have achieved a lot. I have been, you know, sure, I've done a lot of bad things, but I've done everything I can to try to, you know, repair the damage that I caused. And so, like, so no, I deserve, you know, it's just, it's hard to...
force yourself to, you know, accept like, yeah, you're like, you're doing well. Like just be, yes, you were, you were as bad as it could get, but you've turned it around. And like, you know, I was, I was kind of nervous about this interview, but then I was like, and I was talking to my dad and he's like, Chris, you stopped using heroin. you can do an interview. That's true. Yeah.
And I mean, yeah, you know, it was, um, and again, like I go back to the intrinsic motivation. It's just so important to want to level up in life. And I think that like, you know, I kind of compare it to like the whole body positivity movement. It's like, yeah, you're 40 pounds. And I'm not talking about people with like medical issues, but like you're 40 pounds overweight. No, you're perfect.
Just the way you are. It's like, no, put the donut down, go to the gym. Like, Stop coddling people who have a food addiction.
Yeah. I mean, it seems so.
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