Chris Distefano

I'm telling you 100% that Jesus Christ himself is an American citizen because not only did he do the weather to save us, but he put oceans on either side of us to protect us. Could you imagine if we were on Europe? Jesus doesn't love Europe. He's got every, all the countries that they're together is always infighting. You can't do that.

I'm telling you 100% that Jesus Christ himself is an American citizen because not only did he do the weather to save us, but he put oceans on either side of us to protect us. Could you imagine if we were on Europe? Jesus doesn't love Europe. He's got every, all the countries that they're together is always infighting. You can't do that.

I'm telling you 100% that Jesus Christ himself is an American citizen because not only did he do the weather to save us, but he put oceans on either side of us to protect us. Could you imagine if we were on Europe? Jesus doesn't love Europe. He's got every, all the countries that they're together is always infighting. You can't do that.

Jesus literally specifically was like, this is my favorite country. I'm putting the Atlantic and the Pacific Osh on either side. That's protecting us. I believe that. Anyone who says Jesus is not an American citizen is a fucking crazy. You're an infidel. That's what I believe. Dude, there's so many history battles. Just the wind.

Jesus literally specifically was like, this is my favorite country. I'm putting the Atlantic and the Pacific Osh on either side. That's protecting us. I believe that. Anyone who says Jesus is not an American citizen is a fucking crazy. You're an infidel. That's what I believe. Dude, there's so many history battles. Just the wind.

Jesus literally specifically was like, this is my favorite country. I'm putting the Atlantic and the Pacific Osh on either side. That's protecting us. I believe that. Anyone who says Jesus is not an American citizen is a fucking crazy. You're an infidel. That's what I believe. Dude, there's so many history battles. Just the wind.

Do you know how many times a fucking boat, like a wooden boat was coming down the river and then the wind just stopped blowing and they're just stuck? Oh my gosh.

Do you know how many times a fucking boat, like a wooden boat was coming down the river and then the wind just stopped blowing and they're just stuck? Oh my gosh.

Do you know how many times a fucking boat, like a wooden boat was coming down the river and then the wind just stopped blowing and they're just stuck? Oh my gosh.

Their whole army just, you know, like they completely break the element of surprise where like they're trying to get there to like kill the soldiers and then everyone just wakes up and there's just an enemy boat in the middle of the water. That's so funny. Just like assholes just sitting there.

Their whole army just, you know, like they completely break the element of surprise where like they're trying to get there to like kill the soldiers and then everyone just wakes up and there's just an enemy boat in the middle of the water. That's so funny. Just like assholes just sitting there.

Their whole army just, you know, like they completely break the element of surprise where like they're trying to get there to like kill the soldiers and then everyone just wakes up and there's just an enemy boat in the middle of the water. That's so funny. Just like assholes just sitting there.

Or I remember the British, another one, the British Army was coming down the water in New York in the Redcoats in the 1700s. And the American Army was on either side. And then the British Army was coming on their boats. And we were shooting cannons at them. And the cannonballs just couldn't reach. Yeah. So the British people were just like, good job, assholes.

Or I remember the British, another one, the British Army was coming down the water in New York in the Redcoats in the 1700s. And the American Army was on either side. And then the British Army was coming on their boats. And we were shooting cannons at them. And the cannonballs just couldn't reach. Yeah. So the British people were just like, good job, assholes.

Or I remember the British, another one, the British Army was coming down the water in New York in the Redcoats in the 1700s. And the American Army was on either side. And then the British Army was coming on their boats. And we were shooting cannons at them. And the cannonballs just couldn't reach. Yeah. So the British people were just like, good job, assholes.

As the cannonballs were falling like 20 feet away, they were like, we're just going to continue going and kill all of you now. We're like, that just wouldn't happen today. Like you would just be able to figure it out. But there they were like, the wind wasn't blowing hard enough. So the cannons were like, fuck. And they can't move them any closer. They're already at the edge.

As the cannonballs were falling like 20 feet away, they were like, we're just going to continue going and kill all of you now. We're like, that just wouldn't happen today. Like you would just be able to figure it out. But there they were like, the wind wasn't blowing hard enough. So the cannons were like, fuck. And they can't move them any closer. They're already at the edge.

As the cannonballs were falling like 20 feet away, they were like, we're just going to continue going and kill all of you now. We're like, that just wouldn't happen today. Like you would just be able to figure it out. But there they were like, the wind wasn't blowing hard enough. So the cannons were like, fuck. And they can't move them any closer. They're already at the edge.

So they would just have to be like, all right, well, I guess we're going to get killed then.

So they would just have to be like, all right, well, I guess we're going to get killed then.