Chris Duffy

But maybe, maybe the idea of the other side that we have in our head isn't quite as accurate as we think it is.

Here's another clip from Monica's TED Talk.

Talking one of the other things that comes to mind for me is the idea of like, if you're building these smaller bridges, it also clarifies what you actually believe, right?

Like you don't want to have to defend your right to exist, but a little bit of friction on.

So why do you think that?

I don't actually naturally think that.

I know that I care about this, but why?

What's my argument for it?

I love what you said about the house that's warm.

That's not yet on fire.

Like, is this a way of maybe taking down the temperature a little bit so that we don't get to the place where things burst into flames?

All of this, to me, brings up when I think about my own life, how do I even start finding someone to have these depolarizing conversations with?

Because it feels like I am definitely in a self-selected bubble of I try to not, because I've put such moral judgments on my politics, I have felt like, well, I don't want to associate with someone who is immoral.

So how do you start to find someone who is that shorter bridge?

What would you recommend as a step to take?

You talk about this hypothetical conversation meter that has five dials that you can turn up or down and that you should think about when you're having conversations.

So can you tell us what those dials on your conversation meter are and how to think about which ones we want to be turned up and down when we're having a conversation across the divide?

I think containment is such an interesting one because these days it does feel like even non-public figures have a real fear about what will other people think when they hear this conversation.

Obviously on social media, it is hard to have a nuanced conversation because other people keep jumping in and they're trying to come in and dunk on someone.

So how do you make it feel safer for a person to talk to you about an idea that's different?