Chris Duffy

So Raina, how did writing this book change what you think a friend is?

With that in mind, what makes a good friend?

What makes a really good friend?

There's a comedy show here in Los Angeles where I live that is literally called My Therapist Knows Your Name.

And people instantly get why that's a funny thing to name a comedy show, because I think so many people do have this experience of like, even though these are, quote unquote, not serious relationships, they often do take up so much of our mental energy and brain space.

This is a very particular type of millennial complaint, but I feel like it's quite common to hear people lament that we live in single family homes or single family apartments and that we don't live in the dorm structure that would be normal if you were living in a university where you have your friends right next door, you have your friends down the hall, you have your friends at least within a walk away.

And I feel like it's so common to hear people wish for

physical proximity to friends, to take away some of the logistics of it being difficult.

Because as you get older, there are more obstacles to hanging out.

And yet we also create these physical obstacles.

I think that regardless of what's the primary relationship in your life, people often experience

real, true, deep heartbreak when they lose a friend, whether that's someone passing away or whether that's a friendship falling apart.

And yet, once again, there's not really a structure for friend loss the same way that there is a structure for a breakup with a romantic partner or for the loss of a spouse.

Can you talk to us about what you can do if you're in that situation where you lose someone who's really important, but you feel like other people just don't get it?

When you lose a friend because it's more on the breakup or the relationship part rather than that they've died or passed away, and that's the reason for losing them.

When you lose a friend, there's this weird gray area where it's like they could float back in, right?

Like they could float back in and maybe it will just be like it was because we don't have as clear lines.

And I think in some ways that can make it harder because you're like, am I grieving something that will...

return before I'm even done grieving?

Or is it gone forever?