Chris Duffy

And it's so much harder to know, I think, than when you are in a romantic breakup.

OK, Reina, in a world where it feels like there is an increasingly wide social and political and ideological divide, do you have any advice for people to navigate friendships where maybe the day to day feels totally fine, but there's also this big weight of the broader political or ideological differences that two people might have?

If you could give people three tips or actions that they should do to nurture and strengthen their friendships and non-romantic relationships, what would you tell them to do?

I never thought about it that way.

I think...

Yeah, you just really shifted something for me in the idea of like, it's really fun to be scheming as adults.

Like we need that more scheming.

I need more scheming in my life.

I think that's right.

Okay, so the one thing I wanted to ask you about is we haven't really talked at all about the way that attraction or like a sexual relationship

Or even the possibility of a sexual relationship can sometimes change the tenor of a friendship.

Something that I've always kind of thought is like an interesting, funny little strange thing is how people complain like, oh, I just got friend zoned.

And I'm like, it's so hard to make friends.

That's a great thing.

Like you got friend zoned.

OK, maybe you're not dating that person, but like it's a good thing that you made a friend now.

And yet I think there is this tension of like.

Friend isn't as good as the other.

What happens when you have a relationship and there's this question of whether it would cross the boundary and become a romantic or sexual relationship as well?

You call this in the book a premortem.