Chris Duffy

But then I'm stressed about like the having the homework.

And that's a good thing.

But one of the things that I do a lot and I think a lot of people do is we...

sometimes have this like emotional judgment around the things that we feel stressed on.

Like, oh, but this is like a gift, like getting to spend time with my kid.

I shouldn't also feel stressed about that.

And you talk in the book about how like layering that emotion on top of like, this isn't worthy of stress or this, I shouldn't be angry about this thing or it's not, I'm not allowed to feel jealous or whatever the emotion is can sometimes be

maybe like the main driver of the stress around a thing is that like we don't allow ourselves to feel the way we feel.

So I just would love to like talk about that since I think it came up there and it is such a natural and universal thing.

I loved how in your book you ground it in your practice and like what school of thought you are.

And one of them that I wasn't as familiar with was DBT.

And I just like to talk about it because it feels like it's at the heart of a lot of what we've already talked about and what we will continue to talk about.

So can you tell us what does DBT stand for and what does it mean?

Just to read a quote from the book, you say, if you're wondering what the heck dialectical means, the term refers to the concept that ideas that seem in opposition can both be true.

A key dialectic in DBT is that you can simultaneously accept what you're facing and change your life.

And one of the things that I think comes up a lot for me when I think about stress is

is this idea of like in my control versus outside of my control.

Let me give you even the most extreme example, right?

Like you live in a repressive authoritarian regime.

The idea that like the solution to your problem is I just have to like think about things differently.