Chris Guillebeau
speaker
120 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard 12 Jun
Chris Guillebeau’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Well, I think avoidance is a huge strategy and practice and I come by it honest. I can avoid with the best of them. I have some stories in one of the chapters about there's this guy in the UK who was going to prison for fraud. I think he had like a two-year sentence and he
avoided his sentence at least for a while by pretending to be in a coma and it's very difficult to pretend to be in a coma you know for a long period of time he was even hospitalized so how do you do that for like yeah how do you do that right um and obviously he eventually gets found out when cctv finds him you know doing some grocery shopping and such but
And there's stories of like the runaway bride, you know, didn't want to face, you know, the wedding. And so it got cold, but cold feet. But instead of having a conversation, you know, actually like disappeared and then it becomes this nationwide thing. So avoidant people will do a lot of things right to to avoid and simply facing some of those things.
I know that's not easy, but simply facing some of those things can be so helpful and provide so much relief. One thing I do is I have a to dread list. Right. Which is like just like it sounds, you've got your to do list, your to dread list is like these are the things I am putting off. And I'm just thinking about it here in real time as we're having this conversation.
I'm like, OK, there is actually a conversation I need to have with someone that's a little bit difficult and I don't want to do this, but it probably needs to happen. And it's not going to be out of my head. Like if I don't do it, It's I'm still thinking about it. So the energy that it's consuming, you know, it's going to be in my best interest to somehow find a way to to face that.
So I saw this sign once that was like, you know, face everything, avoid nothing. And I really liked it. But I also thought it was kind of ambitious because I was like, I'm probably going to be avoiding some things. So I don't know what the like the downsized version of that is, but like face more things. Right. Avoid fewer things. facing things can bring relief.
So the to dread list is very helpful for things you don't want to do. Like you got something to do for your tax return. You got some of that conversation that's difficult or, you know, the thing that's delayed, like you need to write a response that begins with, I'm so sorry for the delay. You know, just the more you can do that, then the better you will feel.
You will you will feel physically better. It's not just about, you know, having something marked off your list. You know, it's not just about your intellectual process. You're going to like feel a physical sensation of relief even as you start to do it. And so maybe one thing is like the simplest thing you can do towards that task.
If it is like a difficult email or something, you just kind of open the email because you've been avoiding it. You know it's there, but you've been avoiding it. So you just open it. And you just write the first line. Hi, Mike. And you just start. And then as you work through it, as I said, relief is on the other side of working through the to dread list or the to dread items.
Do you finish every book? I know you read a lot of books. Do you finish every book that you read? Do you ever watch a show on streaming TV or movies that you start watching and then don't finish? Are you a completionist or not? Yeah, there's plenty of those, yeah.
right well i think i i do hear from people and it's across all media it's like some people who believe that they should not you know stop if they start a book they should finish it you know this is like a point of pride and um i just you know i think there's so many great
books in the world if you start reading a book and you read 30 50 pages and you're not into it that book is just not for you at this point in your life and that's great so stop and get back all those hours you know these days with entertainment it just kind of drags on and on with tv shows if they're making money then they just keep going and it should have been one or two seasons but now it's seven or eight seasons so you think well i'm locked in i'm hooked i'm invested but
can you not just say, well, I enjoyed that story for a little while and now I'm ready to do something else. So that's media and entertainment, which is easy. But you can also think about this in all parts of your life.
If you're starting a business, if you're starting your own creative project, like writing a book, it's actually, I think, a really important skill, in fact, to be able to say, I'm going to stop doing this and do
something else um i you know i will i walk out of movie theaters i don't go to movie theaters too often these days but whenever i do if i don't like the movie i'll leave you know i'll i'll sit down at restaurants and if i don't like the menu i'll get up and go somewhere else it doesn't matter if i've already sat down and i think this is also something that might feel a little bit strange to some people at first but it's going to also bring you relief and you're going to feel proud of yourself you're like oh i actually realized that i would rather have that hour
you know, doing something else. And just because I paid for the movie ticket or whatever, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Um, I want, I want to have my time back.
I mean, it's a sunk cost, you know? Yeah, right. And, you know, it's a sunk cost. And I think it's not just about the financial cost that people get hung up on. They're like, I have already started this thing. I'm already in this thing. So somehow I'm... I'm not doing a kindness to my past self or something, but I think you're actually doing a kindness to your future self in making these choices.
Another thing is people tend to say yes to requests if those requests are referring to a far off time period. If somebody is like, hey, will you go to this wedding with me in three months or something? And, you know, most people without thinking they'll probably kind of agree, even if they're not sure about it.
One thing that's really helpful is whenever you have this far off request, just consider if if the event, whatever it is, was happening tomorrow or the next day or sometime in the very near future and then decide, then see, like, how do I feel about this? And if it if your answer is, oh, that's great, I would love to do that tomorrow. then okay, great.
You know, I would love to do that in three months. But if you think about it and you're like, actually, I don't know, but I want to do that tomorrow or this week, you're probably not going to feel any different in three months or however long the time period is. So do yourself a favor, do your future self a favor and think about those commitments as if they were happening sooner.
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