Chris Voss

Somebody looks at him and says, I know how you feel.

I was at the same place you were in.

And the other person goes, oh, my God, thank you.

And I feel so much better.

And in real life, when you say, as soon as the words I know how you feel start to come out of your mouth, the other person starts to withdraw.

There are some people that teach communication called story stealing.

And they're like, hey, no, you don't know how I feel.

And the circumstance you're getting ready to tell me about, it's got nothing to do with my circumstance.

And you get ready to give me advice, and I don't want to hear it.

And so we see that in the media, but in movies and TVs, it works.

So then actually when it does work, it's invisible.

Like nobody knows what happened.

Right.

And I know how you feel stuff is this common ground nonsense.

So my latest example of why common ground is just at a wedding, Wendy and I had a wedding in Ireland recently and talking to the bride at the end of the day the wedding laid on.

And what they've been through, you know, they go all the way to Ireland to get married.

Like a couple of days before they get married, the church tells them they can't get married in the church because she's Catholic.

The anointment didn't come through in time.

Catholic church is not going to let her walk in the door, get married.

And so just a couple of days before, they got to switch churches.