FBI Hostage Negotiator Chris Voss on How to Get a Raise, a Better Job Offer, and Everything Else You Want
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What psychological tactics can you use to negotiate a raise?
I consider negotiation cardio, but sometimes I need to actually move my body. To trick myself into working out, I like to switch it up. I recently went to a new gym to meet with a trainer my friend recommended.
Why is finding common ground a recipe for resentment in negotiations?
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What's the secret to getting more money?
What mistakes should you avoid when negotiating your salary?
It's how you ask for it. Today on Money Rehab, Chris Voss teaches us exactly how to ask for and get what we want. Chris has spent two decades with the FBI, where he became the lead international kidnapping negotiator.
Should you bring up a competing job offer during negotiations?
He's taught business negotiation at Harvard and at Georgetown. He's written bestselling books on negotiation, including Never Split the Difference, which is one of my absolute favorites. And my husband is obsessed, too.
Is body language truly important in negotiations?
He tells us exactly what to say to get a raise at work, how to negotiate a better job offer, what mistakes kill a negotiation before they even start, and the negotiation myths that are actually setting you up to fail. I'm Nicole Lapin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some Money Rehab.
Money Rehab
Chris Voss, I am so excited to welcome you to Money Rehab. I'm happy to be here.
How can you effectively role-play a salary negotiation?
It's cool. I got to tell you that my husband and I talk about you sometimes in bed. Like there's so, that's a, you just threw me a softball and I'm trying to decide whether or not, you know, that straight line, whether or not I should hit it, but I'm going to take a pass. We love, love, love and are obsessed. This is what happens when two entrepreneurs live together. Oh yeah. We are obsessed with your book. Never split the deal. Never. So explain to people who haven't read it yet, what that means. Because when you think about negotiations, the most common thing is one person wants a thing for $10. One person wants a thing for $20. Let's meet in the middle and, and decide on 15. Right, right. So theoretically, that's a good idea.
The problem is loss stings twice as much as an equivalent gain. Say that one more time. A loss stings twice as much as an equivalent gain. Ignore human nature at your peril. You can't get around that. Daniel Kahneman, Professor Kahneman, Nobel Prize in Behavioral Economics, 2002, Prospect Theory. the summary of it is a loss stings twice as much as an equivalent gain. So it's a rule of human nature. So what does that have to do with meeting in the middle? If I give in by five, I'm going to feel I gave in by 10. And I'm going to resent you. I'm not going to care that you gave in the same amount. I'm going to resent it because it felt like 10. So because I resent you, it's going to interfere in our implementation.
Resentment is a toxin for relationships. And so it's a poison that's going to continue to eat until I get you back. until I feel we're even. So I turn around and I do something in implementation and I sting you for 10, now you got reason to resent me. And so splitting the difference is a recipe for a downward spiral in a relationship. There's no way around it. Because what you're saying is that human nature and the way that we're wired Makes us believe that we lost out on something even though we gained half and the other person gained half. You don't feel that. There was a long time ago when I was teaching at Georgetown, I stumbled over this video where they were stopping people in the street and getting them to bet on money.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What psychological tactics can you use to negotiate a raise?
0:00–0:15
2
Why is finding common ground a recipe for resentment in negotiations?
0:15–1:25
3
What mistakes should you avoid when negotiating your salary?
1:25–1:38
4
Should you bring up a competing job offer during negotiations?
1:38–1:49
5
Is body language truly important in negotiations?
1:49–2:21
6
How can you effectively role-play a salary negotiation?
2:21–9:13
7
What advice does Chris Voss give for handling negotiations in a hostage situation?
9:13–9:21
8
How does your upbringing influence your negotiation skills?
9:21–1:28:04
Speakers
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