Chris Voss

You're not a threat or the issue isn't a threat. There's this Pavlovian response to uttering the word no that opens people up. And that's why in so many cases, if you're willing to give it the space, no will start the conversation.

That's an interesting question. I mean... The parental dilemma is your kids don't do what you tell them to do. They do what they see you do. And your kids saw you say no. You know, your kids see you say no to them all the time. And that's how you assert your autonomy and control of the situation. So they want to be like you. They're seeing you say no. And they're like, oh, okay.

That's an interesting question. I mean... The parental dilemma is your kids don't do what you tell them to do. They do what they see you do. And your kids saw you say no. You know, your kids see you say no to them all the time. And that's how you assert your autonomy and control of the situation. So they want to be like you. They're seeing you say no. And they're like, oh, okay.

That's an interesting question. I mean... The parental dilemma is your kids don't do what you tell them to do. They do what they see you do. And your kids saw you say no. You know, your kids see you say no to them all the time. And that's how you assert your autonomy and control of the situation. So they want to be like you. They're seeing you say no. And they're like, oh, okay.

Saying no is a way to assert my autonomy, to protect myself, to gain control of my environment. It makes me feel good to say it. And that's what, that's what's happening.

Saying no is a way to assert my autonomy, to protect myself, to gain control of my environment. It makes me feel good to say it. And that's what, that's what's happening.

Saying no is a way to assert my autonomy, to protect myself, to gain control of my environment. It makes me feel good to say it. And that's what, that's what's happening.

Yeah, and that is the craziest thing. So it's kind of like a two-step explanation, maybe three-step. Everybody's been bamboozled with yes. The yes momentum, momentum selling, ask them three questions, three different questions, The answer to each question is a micro-agreement or a tie-down. And would you like to make more money? Would you like to live in a bigger house?

Yeah, and that is the craziest thing. So it's kind of like a two-step explanation, maybe three-step. Everybody's been bamboozled with yes. The yes momentum, momentum selling, ask them three questions, three different questions, The answer to each question is a micro-agreement or a tie-down. And would you like to make more money? Would you like to live in a bigger house?

Yeah, and that is the craziest thing. So it's kind of like a two-step explanation, maybe three-step. Everybody's been bamboozled with yes. The yes momentum, momentum selling, ask them three questions, three different questions, The answer to each question is a micro-agreement or a tie-down. And would you like to make more money? Would you like to live in a bigger house?

You know, they seemingly, and there may be at a point in time where this worked. And I think everybody has been hustled by this at some point in time in their life before you realize that you were being led down a path. And you got led down the path so many times that your gut instinct, oh, last time somebody tried to get me to say yes, you know, they ended up trapping me.

You know, they seemingly, and there may be at a point in time where this worked. And I think everybody has been hustled by this at some point in time in their life before you realize that you were being led down a path. And you got led down the path so many times that your gut instinct, oh, last time somebody tried to get me to say yes, you know, they ended up trapping me.

You know, they seemingly, and there may be at a point in time where this worked. And I think everybody has been hustled by this at some point in time in their life before you realize that you were being led down a path. And you got led down the path so many times that your gut instinct, oh, last time somebody tried to get me to say yes, you know, they ended up trapping me.

And so then you have a Pavlovian response. You know, Pavlov's dog, the bell rings, they feed. Then every time the bell rings, the dog salivates. Well, every time somebody tries to get you to say yes, they led you down a path. There was a trap. There was a bear trap there. All right, so the minute somebody's trying to get me to say yes, there's a trap. So there's a psychological Pavlovian response.

And so then you have a Pavlovian response. You know, Pavlov's dog, the bell rings, they feed. Then every time the bell rings, the dog salivates. Well, every time somebody tries to get you to say yes, they led you down a path. There was a trap. There was a bear trap there. All right, so the minute somebody's trying to get me to say yes, there's a trap. So there's a psychological Pavlovian response.

And so then you have a Pavlovian response. You know, Pavlov's dog, the bell rings, they feed. Then every time the bell rings, the dog salivates. Well, every time somebody tries to get you to say yes, they led you down a path. There was a trap. There was a bear trap there. All right, so the minute somebody's trying to get me to say yes, there's a trap. So there's a psychological Pavlovian response.

And as stupid as that, and true as it sounds, it seems stupid that the opposite would be true, that people feel safe when they say no. And they'll open up. But in point of fact, they do. We were teaching this. We're doing a course for a company that does business with hospitals. probably about five years ago.

And as stupid as that, and true as it sounds, it seems stupid that the opposite would be true, that people feel safe when they say no. And they'll open up. But in point of fact, they do. We were teaching this. We're doing a course for a company that does business with hospitals. probably about five years ago.

And as stupid as that, and true as it sounds, it seems stupid that the opposite would be true, that people feel safe when they say no. And they'll open up. But in point of fact, they do. We were teaching this. We're doing a course for a company that does business with hospitals. probably about five years ago.

And this woman in the head of their sales is trying to get the head nurse of this particular hospital to accept a system, have been a yes-oriented approach. And she says, look, this woman is in no mode. She says no to everything I say. So I'm like, all right, flip your questions. She's like, no, that's not going to work. That's stupid.