Chrissie Swan

I wake at about five.

So it is later than I was waking up for breakfast radio, but yeah.

5 a.m., weirdly 4.47.

I don't know why.

Maybe that'll be the time I die.

Isn't it weird?

And aren't we lucky that it's been that way for us?

Because...

It's not like that for some people, and I imagine that would be the most horrendous torture, to know that something is the answer and to not be able to give yourself that gift.

I just reckon that would be so hard, so hard.

I think probably the element I've enjoyed the most is being forced to sort out problems with my own smarts and wiles and time and thinking and ruminating and all of that.

I've really enjoyed that because...

I think without even considering what I was doing or what most of us actually who end up with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol do is that if we're feeling like we need to sort something out or if someone is...

I mean, for me, even if someone, I feel other people's pain so deeply that if someone I love is struggling, I just can't bear it.

And so, you know, you just drink.

You think it's going to help and it doesn't help.

Drinking does not help anything.

It makes everything worse.

And when you realise that...

and you solve your first problem without it, it's a really, like, I was really proud of myself.