Christian Howes

Like always on tip shows and like wondering, or you're walking down the street and somebody walks and they come close to you and you, and if they would have done that in the yard, you're like, that's disrespect, but they're not even thinking about it.

There's different rules.

And you're, so you're like, like I was constantly triggered when I first got out, like I had to stop myself from being like super aggressive because when you're in the yard, you learn to carry yourself in a certain way and you stare people down and you like, you have to like huff up and be like, I had developed certain ways of being and communicating and of carrying myself.

And, uh, to try to, I couldn't just change that right away, you know?

And so I was really triggered, uh, on the street when I first got on the street.

But of course I had all these other great emotions too, like obviously, right?

You know, like when getting home, feeling that freedom was, was wonderful.

And then, um, but you had asked, I think you also asked about what was the vision or what was the purpose?

Well, you know, before I got locked up, my purpose was to be a great classical violinist.

And while I was locked up, that kind of changed, and I had a vision about becoming a great jazz violinist.

Mm-hmm.

I fell in love with the music, but I also fell in love with the people that showed me the music and the culture that was behind it and the feeling that I had of being in the room.

during the church service and making music in these other ways.

And it was like an insight into, it's like you're looking at the world through this window and then, you know, for years and you turn around and it's like, whoa, this is a whole other thing.

Which was, and, you know, it was also Appalachian music too, right?

You know, but especially a lot of black American music and black American culture.

I mean, that was just a eye-opener for me as a kid.

You know, and it was different times back then than it is now.

But it would be proper to say it was an awakening for me.

But that's also a little bit awkward for me to talk about.