Christian Huff

through all the things we give our life to now through worship and through community and through her belief in me and like that there's another way, like there is another way when Jesus is in the story, like there's another way that is possible.

So it was just kind of those next five, six years of us dating were me unraveling out my entire history of like, oh, you'll never be married.

You'll never have kids to then get to a place of like,

okay, I think it is possible, but what do I do with these, uh, very real attractions and very real, uh, desires and what, where that really changed to answer your question was we had broke up the last like two years.

Um, I mean, we were booked up for two years, right before we got married or before we got back together and got married.

And that's crazy story.

But in that two year mark, the thing that changed for me is like for so long, I was trying to like, um,

I was trying to do all of like fighting my sin for Jordan.

Like I was like, okay, if I can like fight my sin to be with her and like this in like, cause I like being with her, is it possible?

But there was just a moment, there was like a lot of moments in the two year breakup for me.

that it became, okay, am I doing this to please man or am I doing this to please God?

And for me, the very clear revelation for me was that this is what God wanted for my life.

And I want to say this too, for the person that is walking and say, like, if you have same-sex attraction in your story, we're not saying the goal is marriage, but we are saying the goal is holiness.

And for me,

I just felt the spirit inside of me like it's never settled with me like to live that way.

So I just had to get to the place where I finally reached the place that it was like I am doing this to please the Lord with my life.

Like it is a full surrender of all of myself.

Yeah.

The deepest parts of me, the sin, the parts that I hate, like I hate, there are times I wanted to take my life.

Like I was just like, I didn't know how to like keep moving, but the Lord gave me enough of himself through all of that, that I truly encountered him in a way where I was like, I will, even if Jordan's not my story, I'm going to choose to follow you and surrender my sexuality to you in this really, um,