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Christopher Titus

đŸ‘€ Speaker
359 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

I agree with Bald Brian.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

No say you, Baldwin. Mm-hmm. What's going on, Alison Rosen? I recently was on the receiving end of an aggressive rectal exam. It's true. Totally true. Oh, Disneyland. Yeah, playing the Anaheim Grove this Thursday, the 15th. San Francisco, Palace of Fine Arts, Phoenix, Orpheum Theatre in Vegas, House of Blues all coming up. Oh, boy.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

I told you last time I was at the California Adventure, I had my daughter on my lap and they were playing California Dreamin'. And I thought, no, this is the mammas and the papas. And I thought, oh, Mackenzie Phillips was on Oprah three weeks ago talking about having consensual sex with her dad. It's the theme to incest.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Sensuaalinen.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

All right. I have an unfortunate health thing to discuss. And I thought not to do with me, but I thought I'd talk to you guys about your condition. We get a little update on Brian. What's going on with you?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

MeillÀ on tÀmmöinen yksi-aikoinen erityinen versioni kaikesta, jossa olet tai elÀvÀ tai elÀvÀ. Ja jos olet elÀvÀ, olet Ben Vereen 60-luvulla. Mutta he eivÀt tunne, ettÀ tÀmÀ on jotain, ei ole tullut kohdalla.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Onko se hÀn? TÀmÀ on jotain, jota sinun tÀytyy elÀÀ. En tiedÀ, kuten diabetes. Sinun tÀytyy kontrolloida se, elÀÀ sen, työskennellÀ sen, jatkaa sen ja monitoroida sen. Ja toivottavasti on nÀmÀ drogit, jotka ovat...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Ja tÀmÀ ei ole niin paljon hyperboleja, koska kun pÀÀdyin puhelimeen Paul Bryannin kanssa 2-2,5 vuotta sitten, pÀÀdyin puhelimeen Dr. Drew ja Dr. Brucelle. Ja kun annin hÀnelle tumorin ja paikallisuuden ja mitÀ se oli ja mitÀ se oli kutsuttu, he molemmat sanoivat, ettÀ ohi. He annaivat saman vastauksen.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

That the guy gave on Defending Your Life when Albert Brooks said he had nine days to review. Nine pies. Yeah. I'm going to give you a pie for every day. You know, when he went, how many days you have here? Judgment City. Judgment City. He's like, I have nine days. That's a recurring joke, too, because everyone would ask and they'd be like, oh, four days, five days ago. I'm here for nine days ago.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Dr. Drew ja Dr. Bruce sanoivat, ettÀ se on pahaa. Ja se on pahaa. Olin tekemÀssÀ pahaa matkaa. He sanoivat, ettÀ jos se pysyy pysymÀÀn tai ei pysyÀ pysymÀÀn, se voisi olla hyvÀ. Mutta jos se pysyy pysymÀÀn, se on sydÀntö.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

I said, well, obviously it's growing because he's symptomatic, and that's why it's causing these symptoms, you know, blurred vision or slurred speech or whatever. So it is moving, and they said...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Se on pahaa, koska se on vaikea pysyÀ, jotta se muuttuisi. MielestÀni he olivat varmasti takaisin Wunderdrugista tai muuta. NiitÀ ihmisiÀ, joita minÀ tiedÀn kaupungilta, joita olen oppinut 15 vuotta sitten, on asioita, jotka ovat uusia, joita en ole kovin saavuttanut nyt. MielestÀni niistÀ on hieman. Kun tÀmÀ oli vuonna 1989, se oli vain sydÀntö, kun he olivat harjoittelemassa.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Ei ole hyvÀssÀ terveydenhuollossa. Olen maailmanlaajuisessa terveydenhuollossa Los Angelesissa ja en ole saavutettu siihen. EhkÀ olen pahassa terveydenhuollossa ja olin todella hyvÀssÀ terveydenhuollossa. Joten monta asiaa on tietenkin tullut... EhkÀ, mutta he tunnevat tumorin. He tunnevat, missÀ se on paikallaan. Dr. Brucein isÀ oli saman tumorin. On. On, kiitos, saman tumorin.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Se on tÀrkeÀÀ, koska hÀn on ollut mukana 8 tai 10 vuotta. Se ei ole jatkunut aikaa, mutta kun se jatkuu, se on se, missÀ on ongelma. Se on vaikea kÀsitellÀ. TÀmÀ oli jatkunut. Se oli vaikea miettiÀ, ettÀ jos se jatkuu, niin se on sydÀntö. MinÀ sanoin, ettÀ se jatkuu, ja se oli ongelma. Allison, sinun terveyden asiat. Puhutaan siitÀ.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

There's this thing in all, maybe it's just a showbiz thing, but once you get to the 15th, it's like there's no conversations until the next year. Nothing happens. They tried to book it and I said, no, I'm in show business, you don't understand. I shut down for that time. What do you do?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Noh, se on ihan hyvÀ, mutta onko jotain tuota loppuvuoden asiaa, joka tekee sitÀ niin... Noh, me teemme sen vuonna 2012 tai jotain. En tiedÀ. Alisson, mitÀ sanoisit ihmisille, jotka ovat Àidin aikana, ja he kertovat, ettÀ mitÀ te teette elokuvaan?

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

TÀmÀ on hienoa.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

MielestÀni ajattelin, ettÀ juttelimme. Olimme samassa juttelijakuvassa. Kuten kun tappasin McCarran-aeropuolella, ja kaveri puhutti minut yöllÀni, ja hÀn kertoi, ettÀ mitÀ sinÀ teet elÀmÀÀn? Ja minÀ olin niin...

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

It all flashed, like I said, I was never going to do the comedian, because, oh, funny boy, not laughing so hard anymore. Maybe your Jew friend Sarah Silverman or Dana Gould, maybe they know an attorney, could get you out. Oh, they probably wouldn't know who they were. So I just sat there and went, uh, and the guy went, you don't know what you do? And then I just shouted Carpenter.

Adam Carolla Show
Christopher Titus + Bobby Collins (Carolla Classics)

Philip the Juggler, oh man. You've heard me talk about this dude before. That's him at his second wedding. That would be a probably 26-27 year old me on the left side and Philip looking like Matthew McConaughey on the right.