Christopher Titus

Where are we on now? We're on the... Liberal Democrats. Oh, okay, that's good. Treme. I'm scared with glee. Which I used to think was pronounced Treme. Yeah, no, no, no. It's not, though. Oh, it's on HBO. It's about... New Orleans or something, right? Yes, yes. Cougar Town, which is...

What the... Somebody has to sit those people down and go, we're really on a roll here. And then we got the view in Cougartown. Now which one of you assholes is responsible for this? And maybe you should take a walk to the other side of the aisle. You're fucking us up here. We had a nice thing going with 30 Rock and all this. Cheryl, is Cougartown you? You're out of here, bitch. And don't give me that lefty bullshit.

You're not a Castle fan? I don't know. There's always ten of those shows that I have no idea. It's two really good looking people who solve crime. And by the way, every time I turn on 20, 20 or 48 hours and I see what actual cops look like, actual detectives look like, they're fucking the fattest, baldest, whitest guys on the planet. It's not that they're eating during the interview, but you almost see them eating. It's like you can't not see them eating. You're just like...

Ja sitten he saavat superhotta tyyppiä, ja hän on terveydenhoitajana, ja hän on tyyppiä, ja sellaista, ja sellaista, ja sellaista, ja sellaista, ja sellaista, ja sellaista,

Minä olen valmis. Hyvin atletinen. Hän on soittanut elämäänsä päätöksentekoisuuteen. Hyvin atletinen ja yksilöinen. Periaatteellisesti yksilöinen. Ja hieno rauha. Rauha on aina mahtavaa. Ja sinä tulet ylös ja sanot, että haluatko rauhaa? Hän pysyvät rauhaan, kun pysyvät rauhaan. Hän on rauhaa ja rauhaa. Hän on rauhaa ja rauhaa. En tiedä, miten se kasutus toimii. Mythbusters.

Now that's a weird one for the righties. I know. Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy. That's about right. American Pickers. Although Only in America is kind of interesting, which is it's not him doing a bunch of lame tractor jokes. He actually travels around and like interviews people. I don't know who makes stuff and do stuff. It's kind of what I think it's kind of travel loggy. And he doesn't ham it up.

Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Really? Makes sense. The Biggest Loser. He wears a flag on the lapel of his suit. What does he wear on his heart? Look out for the brown acid. What show? Biggest Loser. Hawaii Five-0. To be fair, I think the right is fatter than the left. I think they're interested in weight loss.

Se on oikeastaan oikeastaan oikeastaan oikeastaan oikeastaan oikeastaan

Either something is offensive to look at or it's not. It's not about religion. For me, I'm an atheist. This guy has huge D-cups and they make him take his fucking shirt off. And they run the commercials and you can't avoid the commercials because you're just watching something else. You're watching the news on the network and you're eating dinner and the fucking thing just comes flying up. There's a dude with a shirt off. It's not acceptable. It's offensive.

Mutta mikä on isompi kuvio? Se tekee sinua tuntemaan paremmin itselleen, kun näet tämän televisiossa. Kyllä, mutta se on kuin nähdä tuon vietnämiäisen tykkäyksen, jonka kotiin oli pysynyt läpi, menemässä Napolta. Jos se tekee sinua tuntemaan hyvältä elämästäsi, niin sinä olet pysyvä. Ja jos tämä tekee sinua tuntemaan hyvältä elämästäsi, niin sinä olet pysyvä.

And we have something called standards and practices. They should exercise them. It's offensive. It's hard to watch when you're eating. Well, it's interesting because, you know, surgery shows can show all sorts of things. That's wrong, too. It's wrong, too. But the general rule is what? They want to avoid anything that would be titillating to someone? If you said goddammit, you'd be bleeped out.

Ja kuten sanoin kirjassani, kun katsoo Survivor ja hot model, bikini-model, jolla on tarpeeksi tarpeeksi tarpeeksi tarpeeksi tarpeeksi tarpeeksi tarpeeksi tarpeeksi

Ja myös NCIS ja The Mentalist. Tiedän, että The Mentalist olisi tuossa. Dancing with the Stars. Minä tykkään The Mentalist-komersiosta, koska hän on siellä ja puhutaan jonkun tyyliin. Ja siellä on iso lippu, joka näyttää, että lippu on tuossa. Se näyttää, että joku otti lippuun ja jätti lippuun. Ja hän painoi lippuun ja laittoi sen vanhaan lippuun. Ja se on niin, että The Mentalist tietää kaiken. Lippu. Voi!

Noin 700 euroa minulle. 700 euroa? Kyllä. Ne ovat hyviä, erityisesti jos ne ovat hyviä sinulle. Täällä on kaksi puolustajaa, kolme puolustajaa, kaksi puolustajaa, ja sitten Super. Hän tekee Superin. Hän saa 200 euroa. Ja kaikki muu saa 100 euroa? Kyllä. Hän saa kaiken kaikkiaan. Jos jotain väärää tapahtuu, minä asun 70-70-luvulla, 12-luvulla, ja jos jotain tapahtuu, he ovat oikein siellä sinulle. Toisaalta ihmiset antaa vain 20 euroa. Mitä hyvä puolustaja tekee?

Then he calls you on the cell phone. The raven, the raven has left the nest. You hang up. Yeah, that's why you gotta tip those guys. You always take care of the people that take care of you. Yeah. Having to be nice. I feel like you could do a lot of cheating in New York if you're in good with your door guy. They'll cover your ass. And that guy doesn't talk. He's a good straight dude. He's paid off.

Oh my god, that'd be the easiest cheat in the world, right? Because there's one elevator, there's one door, he's manning it. She's not coming to the back door. But the other one is. I bought the apartment that I grew up in, so to me it's still like going home. And the doormen, their children are the doormen.

I could buy the house I grew up in with the change in the ashtray of my Lexus. What floor are you on? I'm on the second floor. That still works. Cheat away about it. And I got a deck. Deck is huge in New York. Don't screw on the deck, because that can be seen from the street. Go inside and draw them curtains. Is it like a deck with plants?

Okei, se on se. Se on nykyinen. Olen tyytyväinen kaikille teille. Minulla on vielä minun door-man cheater-idea. Sitten myöhemmin, kun hän yrittää saada rahaa sinuun. Hän tietää aina. Oh, kyllä. Man great. Siellä on viikonloppu. Se on jotain, joka ei saa sinun listasta huolimatta. 100% Made in America. Cast iron. 100% cast iron.

Steakhouse quality, grilling right in your own backyard. Look at that bad boy, man great. These guys were on early and often. Somebody was just telling me, every time you hand somebody the box, you just hand it to them and they go, Jesus Christ, it is so much for $19.99. It's going to get your steaks, your chops, your chicken right up to your steakhouse quality. Just trust me on this one. Believe me, you get the bonus brush with the...

Adam Carolla Show logo in it, and it's all good, and it's $19.99. How can you pass on that? And Amazon, come on, keep the pirate ship afloat, people. Gonna buy something from Amazon? Click through our website. Keep the love. Bobby Collins, everybody. Tell it like it is. Available at bobbycollins.com.