Chuck Bryant

Right.

And it certainly doesn't excuse future repeated mistakes.

instances of what you just did.

But it's saying like, I'm willing to let go of the pain I have associated with this act you did against me, this wrong.

And I'm going to move forward with my life.

And in doing that, I'm willing to let you move forward as well.

Well, or I think sometimes in a case like this,

that kind of forgiveness can make the transgressor suffer worse sometimes.

Yeah, just out of guilt?

Yeah, and they want to be admonished and hated as part of a punishment.

But, you know, TS, you know, because again, forgiveness is not for you.

It's for the person.

Dave even makes a great point.

The person being forgiven is secondary or even unnecessary to the process.

And that's sort of the key.

You don't even have to...

tell that person necessarily we'll get to later some kind of like how to forgive some people say that you should tell someone out loud like literally tell someone but you don't necessarily have to tell that person if it's a situation like this or even if it's like a close personal friend like I think usually you do when it's someone you know because that's a part of communicating with one another in a healthy way but if it's the person who killed your family you don't have to tell them to forgive them and you can still forgive them

Yes.

So some psychologists define forgiveness like a full forgiveness as including you actually seeking out contact with that person.

Right.