Ciara McGeehan

And I studied physiotherapy.

I used to read in research papers and.

And so my head immediately went like, is this based on an older population?

You know, historically, people with this type of cancer are a bit older.

They might have comorbidities.

I'm like, they're logically going through my head, which I continuously do throughout this journey.

I feel like I'm a very pragmatic person.

Yeah, just crushing, crushing.

And I'd say in that early stage, there was, you know, people are kind of like, like how I am now.

They're like, you're handling it so well.

But I went through a grief cycle too with all of this.

Yeah, just really raw.

And like my partner, Tommy, is a very stoic individual and he's not a big talker because obviously like yin and yang, I'm the talker in the relationship.

And like even like Tommy, Tommy kind of holds his cards close to his chest and seeing him so like viscerally upset was, I was like, oh my goodness.

Like I say in the book how he had walked upstairs and I kind of walked out to see him and he had just

stopped in his tracks and was just sitting like he clearly didn't make it all the way upstairs just sitting on the stairs like you feel like the rug's pulled from beneath you it's not even just a rug you feel like suddenly you're off a cliff and you're falling and you don't know what it's going to be like whenever you come to your stop and

And we were like, you're scared in that moment because we just didn't know there were so many unknowns.

And like, I'll be honest, anger.

Whenever I read through the leaflet that I was given by the lovely nurse, the colorectal nurse, I'd had like, I flicked through and I was looking at the risk factors and I just felt bloody angry.

And I said to Thomas, I was like...