Cindy

And it was just hard not understanding it at the time.

And there've also just been all these incredible highs with our relationship, but then just random disappearings and yeah, just a whole lot of confusion.

It was slowly just driving me into this complete place of unknown and just, it was very, it was very new to me.

After the blocking, he would always, it'd probably take a week or two.

I don't know if he was on the apps just to get an ego boost or something, but he'd always come back.

We'd make up or he'd send me the WYD message or like, you know, and I'd just take the bait every time.

But yeah, we'd always just end up back together.

I would just...

be at home trying to make sense of it all while he was just out there living his life.

And then when he wanted me back, he'd come back.

It was incredibly hard to deal with because it's something I dealt with a lot in my previous relationship.

So I had a lot of, I just had a lot of issues with abandonment or feeling abandoned, feeling disposable.

And

Yeah, it wasn't helpful whatsoever.

I felt very much like I wanted to make sure that never happened again.

I definitely tried to work on myself in the way I handled things.

maybe how I can come to a compromise if we were to argue again so it wouldn't end up so bad to the point where that felt necessary.

It wasn't a good feeling whatsoever.

It was horrible.

But I guess every time he told me that, you know, he wanted to try again and do better, I believed him because why would he lie?