Chapter 1: What challenges does Cindy face with her sleep?
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The Iconic has got you looking. Nina Fennell is a Walkley Award-winning journalist and a survivor who helped overturn damaging gag laws in the Australian justice system. She was the driving force behind the campaign that allowed women to finally speak their own names. Her work doesn't just tell stories, it drives change. Hi, I'm Gemma Bath, host of True Crime Conversations.
And this very special two-part episode isn't just about the justice system. It's about what happens when women are finally heard. A raw, honest look at the power of a single voice, how silence is shaped and how women push through it. Hear my conversation with Nina Fennell on True Crime Conversations.
Search True Crime Conversations wherever you get your podcasts or click the link in the show notes to hear Nina's story now. You're listening to a Mamma Mia podcast.
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters this podcast is recorded on. This episode deals with discussions of sexual abuse, mental ill health and pregnancy termination and won't be for everyone. If you or anyone you know needs help, there is a list of support services in our show notes.
Sleep, a time to rest, recover and reset, allowing you to wake refreshed and ready to face a brand new day. That elusive eight hours we all strive for, filled with dreams that quietly keep us company through the night. But for Cindy, sleep wasn't a luxury. It was something a little more complicated.
I'm the type of person, you get on a plane, I am dead asleep until that thing lands. Like, I can sleep through a lot. I enter REM in a couple minutes. I sleep heavy. I've had things in the past that, like gatherings or parties, you want to fall asleep.
While those complications can steal those dreams away, what you don't expect is for them to be replaced by nightmares, not the kind you have in your sleep, the kind happening in real life.
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Chapter 2: How did Cindy's relationship with Ted begin?
I'm the type of person who can get on a plane, I am dead asleep until that thing lands. Like, I can sleep through a lot. I enter REM in a couple of minutes. I sleep heavy. I've had things in the past that like gatherings or parties, you want to fall asleep. Something with my sleep disorder is called automatic behaviors.
So it's like I could be folding laundry, looking you dead in the eye, having a conversation, but my eyes will be a little bit like glazed over. You'll be able to tell that I'm not actually awake. It's like sleepwalking basically.
So it's not particularly surprising that Cindy couldn't help falling asleep in a loud, busy music venue, but Ted wasn't quite as understanding. He got quite angry about it.
even though he was well aware that that would happen. But I tried to very quickly and quietly let Ninja out of there and run back. I was running back to the hotel. I was so excited to get into that bed. And I just didn't want any problems as well. So I thought he would stay there and drink with his bandmates. And I've, like, dived into the bed and he just came bursting through the door.
And he was so angry. Like... furious at me. And he made some offhand comment about a woman, which I can't even remember what the comment was, but it was just so out of the blue that it really upset me because once he said that he then turned around and left and I heard him get into the lift out in the hallway.
And that sort of just kicked me off too, because it's like, don't say something to me and then bail, like talk to me about it. So we had a quite explosive fight, which resulted in us breaking up when we got back from that tour. And we had a holiday booked that was meant to be for my birthday earlier in the year, but he told me, you're not coming on the holiday.
you know, he had control of the tickets. So I think he, I don't know if he sold my ticket, but you know, it was a holiday that I was paying my own way for and through, but I was told you're not going. And I had a gut feeling there was more going on there because it just, it was very sudden, like why he wouldn't want to sort anything out or even talk about what had happened. And
had a bit of a gut feeling. So I made a Tinder, I set the location to near him and he was advertising my ticket on his Tinder bio saying he needs a travel buddy. I took it on the chin. I offered to drop him at the airport to sort of be the bigger person because at that point I was devastated, but I was more than happy to sacrifice my happiness for him because
I thought maybe it'll just mean we'll be in a good place by the time he's back.
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Chapter 3: What complications arise in Cindy and Ted's relationship?
So my sister and I, we decided that we would buy a house together. So I was looking for a house for us. So Ted and I were also planning to live together, but my sister and I would be purchasing the home and he would move in with us, with me. So I was going to these home opens. It was getting very taxing. Ted was still just doing what he was always been doing. I knew music was his number one.
So he had just started or joined a new band and was spending a lot of time at rehearsal and work. And yeah, it was just all happening at once. I didn't have a whole lot of time to process and I was sort of dealing with it all alone. So we just sort of fell back together. But at the same time, when I had the home open for the house I was living in,
Ted said he wanted to move his music equipment out because one of the bedrooms we turned into a studio for him. He wanted to move all the equipment out because he didn't want people to be walking through the house with his, you know, very expensive collection there. And I thought that was fair enough. Sure.
Like I was taking a lot of my expensive stuff out too, because I didn't want random people walking through the house, but. He then sort of like moved all of his stuff out, which I hadn't really noticed, but I had asked him for whenever it is that you know, is the final week of having this home. I would really love a couple of days to myself because it was such a special place to me.
So I had sort of asked if he would vacate before me, but this was about a month and a half before we had to move out. So I thought it was a little bit weird that he was getting a headstart on that. And the fact he hadn't really spoke to me about it at all either. But at that point, yeah,
I was very much ready for the space because of everything that happened with what happened while I was sleeping. I was quite keen on the idea of him not being there all the time and I just figured we would sort it out a little bit later down the line when I've found somewhere else to live because that had to be my priority at that time. He was...
very much spending all of his time at his parents' house. Like he moved back to his parents' house. His family's very close knit. They were always doing a lot of fun things. And once he went back to that life, he just really didn't have any interest in spending time with me anymore. I think the heaviness of what had happened, in my opinion, it seemed like an easy way out.
It seemed like an easy way for him to just drift away and that would be that. And I think I was okay with it at that time because, like I said, I just wanted some space. I wanted him just, I wanted to sleep. I wanted to sleep and feel safe and I wanted to spend those last moments with that house that brought me so much joy.
um safety as a child and so I wasn't even that bothered by it but it yeah it got to a point where he would start just very bluntly saying I'm going to bed good night and then just like I know his sleeping habits I know you know he sits and scroll like doom scrolls for a while on his phone all that but I'd instantly try to call him just because I I'd want to say I love you I want to say good night and he wouldn't answer and
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Chapter 4: How does Cindy cope with her unexpected pregnancy?
And that, that really fucked me up because it was just so unnecessary. Like you never had to say you would call if you didn't mean it. And to me, it was just all the more confusing because at that point I was thinking, oh, we're just going to make peace. Maybe one day we can smile across the room from each other at a show and remember some good times.
I found a way to message and that was through email and he hadn't blocked me. And I just said, why would you do that? That is completely evil. And he said, don't contact me again. I'm calling a welfare check. See ya. And the police were at my door 20 minutes later. And I cannot tell you how relieved I was to see them because it was just like, It all felt like torture up to that point.
So I was just relieved to see them. And they obviously sat me down. They asked, like, how do we get here? What's going on? And I just sort of gave them a brief rundown of everything that had happened the last few months, the house hunting, the sleeping incidents. a lot of all the stresses that we were going through.
And they asked me, they said, you know, you don't have to, but we would like to take you to the hospital. And I said, yeah, of course, please. So I jumped in the car. So the police still took me to the hospital, which was fine on the way there. So about 20 minutes or so after I had given them that quick rundown, one of the police officers turned around in the car and they just said, hey, look,
Just to let you know, there's no statute of limitations when it comes to sexual abuse. So if you want to report it today, you can, or if you want to report it in 10 years, you can. So I was just like, okay, yeah, sure. And I went to a mental health evaluation unit. I sat there in a glass room for maybe five or six hours and I had a lot of time to think.
And having it validated by the police that it was sexual abuse, because that term hadn't entered my mind, that was a moment where I decided to report what had happened because just having that validation was... very eye-opening. And it took me, I sat there in that room for hours and, you know, I didn't even pick up my phone.
I was just thinking and going over everything, going over the last few months, the last few years. And it seemed like that was the right thing to do because at that time I was feeling like The narrative was being completely flipped to make me look unstable, which I think is what the welfare check was for. I had all the specialists come in.
They did what they had to do and answered all their questions. And basically they diagnosed it as an adjustment reaction or adjustment disorder, which is It's a strong but temporary response to a stressful life event. There were times where I did question, am I okay? Am I bipolar? Am I BPD? Because this man keeps telling me I am. And...
No, it was just a very normal reaction to the situations that I was in. But I'm really grateful that I went and did that because I got a lot out of it. He did me a favour in that sense. I made the report later that day once I was home and I'd had some time to just, yeah, decompress a bit more in my own space. And I had a detective message me back, I think, two days later.
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Chapter 5: What happens after Cindy's second termination?
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