Clare Stephens

It's like, so we should pick where we have dinner.

I'm bad at that.

I will make a horrible, horrible decision and everybody will have a bad meal, whereas somebody else might enjoy food.

Yeah, see, that's really, that is really good.

And that is what I'm trying to get better at is the kind of outreach and just letting people know I'm there, but I'm very, very bad at the making plans and the making a call and all of that.

But I also loved, Tig says later on, and it is a bit specific to the nature of her friendship breakdown, a line about people deserving a friend when they least deserve a friend.

That also goes for maybe times in people's lives where they've made horrible mistakes, where they've behaved badly, where they have said something stupid.

And what I found interesting about Tig's particular experience is the difference between when somebody has maybe exposed a character flaw or a difference of opinion and when that becomes a fundamental clash of values.

And I think that that is kind of underlying the conversation she's having more, whereas the reply-only friend is a bit more of the surface level.

Like the problem is whether there's a fundamental clash of values.

Yes, yes.

But I also think in terms of the reply only friend and what both of you are saying about those kind of

I don't know, different, more novel conversation starters.

I'm good at that.

Like I will see a piece of gossip or something going on on TikTok and I'm like, I know who to send this to.

And we'll have a chat about that and then we may not talk for six months.

So that's fine.

But with a reply only friend, I think friendship, like any relationship, is based on a dynamic.

So I think in some ways I've kind of paired up with friends who were the reach out friend.

Do you know what I mean?