Clark Fredericks

They were skimming that. So they can only push you so far unless they want to try to do something themselves, but they're not usually that type of person. And it just stopped. And whether these guys got killed, whether they got arrested, what happened, you know, that was 25 years ago. And after like six months of just daily, weekly calls, threats, that last phone call, you're a dead man, click.

They were skimming that. So they can only push you so far unless they want to try to do something themselves, but they're not usually that type of person. And it just stopped. And whether these guys got killed, whether they got arrested, what happened, you know, that was 25 years ago. And after like six months of just daily, weekly calls, threats, that last phone call, you're a dead man, click.

I never heard anything again. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Now we talk about feeling trapped, right? Those, those, those were like the worst years of my life. Like that period.

I never heard anything again. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Now we talk about feeling trapped, right? Those, those, those were like the worst years of my life. Like that period.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause they, they, they, they made comments. They were going to send guys up to me, you know?

Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause they, they, they, they made comments. They were going to send guys up to me, you know?

You know, like, I didn't want to die, but I just got to the point of, fuck, whatever, man. It's just like, whatever, you know, whatever. My life is shit anyway. It's been shit since I was a kid. So whatever, you know, it's like whatever they're going to fucking do, whatever, man. You know, that's sort of the mindset you adopt.

You know, like, I didn't want to die, but I just got to the point of, fuck, whatever, man. It's just like, whatever, you know, whatever. My life is shit anyway. It's been shit since I was a kid. So whatever, you know, it's like whatever they're going to fucking do, whatever, man. You know, that's sort of the mindset you adopt.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Yeah, that's what it was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I got buddies who are hell's angels, you know, I'm selling drugs to them, you know. In this, you know, my late 30s, I hurt my back at work and I got prescribed Vicodin. Never had a pain pill in my life and just instantly fell in love with those things. And, you know, went blue through 30 of them in a couple of days, called the doctor back up. Those things worked great.

Yeah. You know, I got buddies who are hell's angels, you know, I'm selling drugs to them, you know. In this, you know, my late 30s, I hurt my back at work and I got prescribed Vicodin. Never had a pain pill in my life and just instantly fell in love with those things. And, you know, went blue through 30 of them in a couple of days, called the doctor back up. Those things worked great.

I feel great. Then he's like, that was a little quick. I go, you got to get me more doc. And he goes, I'll give you 10 more. That's it. And that just like, that was unacceptable. So then I just start buying pills off the street and thus begins a multi-year pain pill addiction, you know? So I got, I, it's just going from one thing to another, to another, to another, you know? And, uh,

I feel great. Then he's like, that was a little quick. I go, you got to get me more doc. And he goes, I'll give you 10 more. That's it. And that just like, that was unacceptable. So then I just start buying pills off the street and thus begins a multi-year pain pill addiction, you know? So I got, I, it's just going from one thing to another, to another, to another, you know? And, uh,

we go into my forties and I, you know, like I didn't know I suffered from PTSD, you know, from what happened to me as a kid and, uh, something triggers my PTSD and I fall into this deep depression. And, uh, you know, it's just like, just like this, like it felt like a thick mattress on me, just holding me down. And it's just like, you can't get out of this fog. It's just this thick, heavy fog.

we go into my forties and I, you know, like I didn't know I suffered from PTSD, you know, from what happened to me as a kid and, uh, something triggers my PTSD and I fall into this deep depression. And, uh, you know, it's just like, just like this, like it felt like a thick mattress on me, just holding me down. And it's just like, you can't get out of this fog. It's just this thick, heavy fog.

That's just, And I would literally have to talk to myself like a baby to get out of bed in the morning. Come on, Clark. Swing your legs out of bed. You can do it. Now stand up. Come on. Walk to the bathroom. Come on. And, you know, that's when I started drinking before work. You know, I mentioned that earlier. Like, I don't know how to, like, I have no healthy coping mechanisms. Mm-hmm.

That's just, And I would literally have to talk to myself like a baby to get out of bed in the morning. Come on, Clark. Swing your legs out of bed. You can do it. Now stand up. Come on. Walk to the bathroom. Come on. And, you know, that's when I started drinking before work. You know, I mentioned that earlier. Like, I don't know how to, like, I have no healthy coping mechanisms. Mm-hmm.