Coleman Ruiz

I turned in my gear.

I turned in my badge.

And my next visit to the command years later, I had to be escorted on by people I worked with in the same fucking squadron.

So within a matter of one week, I'm a stranger.

I can't get on the base.

There's reasons for that.

I get that.

But I'm just using it to make the point.

No, once you're out, you can't just drive on the base anymore, you know?

Right, right.

This is, like, emblematic of... Of course, I didn't talk to anybody about it, not even Bridget, but at the time, in those first, call it, couple of years or even couple of months, I don't know, the question you just asked me is a question I was asked, like, what do I do?

Like, not with work.

Like, what do I do, period, with life?

Like, how do I manage my time?

And I'm not some bumbling idiot.

It's not like I was walking around the neighborhood, like, trying to figure out where my house was.

I...

I just been in that environment for so long to your point that, um,

I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to do with my thoughts, my feelings, my, you know, I could go to the Buddhist five aggregates, my thoughts, feelings, perceptions, physical form, like all these things I've learned about and thought about later that have helped so much.