Collegiate Analyst

Yeah. I brought this up after they lost to Michigan. And you guys both told me if you gave them that deal, they'd all say no. I mean, what?

You said, fuck yeah, I'd take that deal. You lose to Michigan and win the national title. After they lost to Michigan, I was like, if they win the national title, does it not matter? No, it doesn't matter because they lost to Michigan.

So I'm saying before the season, if you had given them that deal, they would have said no.

I think after that Michigan game. No, but before the season. Yeah. You said you're going to lose to Michigan but win the national title. I think there's some Ohio State fans. After they lost to Michigan, you guys both told me that they would have said, we will not take that deal. We have to beat Michigan. Yeah. I'd also like to say.

What do you think it is now, though, now that they've actually won the title?

I mean, she drove it in so bad, you couldn't even reverse it. That's when you really felt like it was.

Yeah. Link me up.

Oh, really? Who got hired? You said the Jets always 3 o'clock.

That's a lot.

You're wrong again.

Boy genius.

The reason you lost the game, though, basically being a crazy play called by it, that makes it sting that much worse.

But if you're a Lions fan, coping. That was the defining play of the game.

But they're winning the offseason again.

What needs to happen the next three years for you to maybe go to like 7 out of 10?

I say they have to do it on the field. No, but I'm saying in three years, what would you consider success or failure?

Yeah, and that's what we are.

How about it?

We're all putting our fingers up.

I was just focusing on the fingers. I was focusing on the fingers. I'm sorry. Say it again. No, I said it. Am I closing your mouth?

CJ Stroud had some of that shit, too.

My hot seat is the biz. Oh, yeah. People not respecting it. Yeah. There's not respecting it. Oh, this is bad.

Oh, yeah, yeah. After the Notre Dame game lost, Dan Wolkin was in the locker room.

He tweeted bizarre scenes from the Notre Dame locker room. Players yelling at reporters, coaches warning people not to ask certain questions. Amateur hour.

No respect for the biz going on in the Notre Dame locker room after losing the biggest game of their life. What a shock.

Hmm.

We're going backwards.

I mean, if I lost a national championship, the first thing I would be thinking is, like, let's answer questions from the media in a respectful way.

Biz, hot seat. No, respecting the biz. Respecting the biz, yeah. You okay? Yeah. My cool throne is the nine darter.

okay time has come uh so starting this friday probably seven or eight o'clock i will be starting the nine darter journey now it's obviously impossible physically impossible i could do this nine darter for a thousand years and i would never get a nine darter no one's ever done it before No amateur that I've heard of.

I've searched some forums, and there's people that, you know, Reddit threads and stuff where they're like, yeah, I've been in a league for 40 years, never been done. Getting a three darter is hard enough. I've gotten, you know, 33 darters in my life, never come close to getting them twice in a row. So the nine darter, I will not be getting nine consecutive darts.

If that bothers you, just stop listening.

What, a regular nine-darter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A nine-darter. So darts is you start at 501 points to start, and a nine-darter is when you go from 501 to zero in nine darts.

So it's a perfect – it's three perfect rounds. You couldn't – it's an immaculate round, basically. Like, there's no – that's the least amount of darts you could throw. It'd be like shooting, you know, whatever, 18 under par, like – It's a perfect round. Yeah, this is not... I feel like getting a hole-in-one on every hole.

But it's similar. We're doing the stream similar to the bowling at 300, where you couldn't bowl at 300, but after time elapses, then it gets easier and easier. So basically, the plan is to do three three-darters. So once I get... If I get three triple 20s, then that leg is done. I like this. I have to get two... Three darters. And every 12 hours, I can get closer to the dartboard.

So I will be living at the office until this is done. It will be a constant stream from Friday until Sunday before the games. And if I'm not done by then, we'll go down for obviously the game stream. We have to record the podcast. And then I'll start again Monday morning. If it takes me until next week, it takes me until next week.

I will not be leaving the office starting Friday until the stream is done. And there's some wrinkles we have where I'm not just going to be throwing darts the whole time because my arm will give up. But there's challenges and different things where the first and third –

legs i have to do on my own but the second leg so that way saturday we can have people come in and help out like pft or big cat you know i can i'm not i'm again i'm not physically gonna be able to throw darts for 40 hours straight i might take a break we might have a you know whoever's in the office come in and they can throw darts as much as they want if they get the first two i always have to the third one so like there's there's ways where people can help me you know do a leg and

But I have to do the first and third legs on my own. And then we'll have some challenges and stuff where it's like I might go in the golf simulator for an hour. If I get a hole in one, then I only have to get two out of three darts. We have challenges set up. It's just going to become a golf stream.

What are you going to say?

If I can get to before – because that's the thing. We're going to go down and we have to do the streams and then the podcast and stuff after, so I won't be – My best-case scenario is finishing before Sunday. If we don't finish before Sunday, then I'm in one.

Yeah, I'm going to have to start throwing righty. But, yeah, every 12 hours I can get a foot closer. So I think hopefully by, like, worst-case scenario, by Tuesday I'll be –

We could have like streams going on.

We have the dartboards mobile. We can do different locations. Like I said, because I'm not going to be able to. I don't want to sit in one place.

That's really the important thing here.

Yeah, I've watched some YouTube videos of throwing darts. I mean, it's darts. You got any advice, fucking Michael Van Gerwen? Yeah, I would prepare for it a little bit.

I was in a good mood until you said, like, I'm trying to... Like, what? I have to fucking throw darts for 100 hours straight. I'm coming up with little one-hour wrinkles. I mentioned one and... This is just a ghost stream.

Meanwhile, your punishments are, like, the dumbest shit in the fucking world, but...

I don't really care what other people say. I care about what you say.

I don't believe it. But yeah, I guess.

I think you can do it in two hours.

I would love to be done before Sunday.

Yeah. Okay. But also with all these streams, as long as you have tried, I have tried through and throwing darts for, I don't know, probably six or seven hours total last month or so. And I haven't come close to a three darter. So it's like, that's, that's my fear. I'm not good at darts.

Yeah, I think Saturday night we might get weird with it. Yeah, okay. I got some... We're going to bring some guests in. That's the thing. I'm trying to spice it up. I'll probably be sleeping on stream and stuff. But yeah, I think Saturday night after whatever, 24 hours at that point, there's like... My body is... There's no point in... I'm just going to get drunk and try.

Yeah, my recommendation... That's where it's like...

I'm worried about sleep talking. Oh, no. Boners, yeah. Oh, no. Sleep talking. I didn't even think about that. I think I'm going to do mouth tape, and we'll probably just mute the sound. I don't know. I'm a sleep talker. I am, too. It's a major issue in my life. Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. Because the suggestions... It wasn't even a punishment and I did it.

But he's been hearing it a lot. I've been hearing it a lot.

Banner that says... But you just said the fans want hair, but you don't care about the fans, Max?

You're saying you're going to have to do something you don't want to have to do that might be physically impossible. This game has a lot of stakes.

I like cornrows for a month. That would be funny. That would make me laugh. That would be funny. I don't hate cornrows either because it doesn't affect you long-term.

And you have to do cornrows with the beads. Yeah, yeah.

What did you get yesterday, PFT? Max doesn't want to do anything.

Yeah, well, after I bicked my entire head.

That's insane.

Yeah. It's a body of water. Oh. Yeah. All right. So I take it back. I like that.

Right, but it's the national championship.

Basketball?

Yeah, I mean, we've been talking about it. Tax season this year has been a breeze, all thanks to Tax Act. I've had a lot of issues doing my taxes in the past. It's long been documented on the show. And this year, I got ahead of it. I said, I'm going to get some help, and I'm going to use Tax Act. And they've been super easy and super helpful. They have professionals.

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Yeah. If everyone's memories were erased and all sports were introduced to the world in the Olympics, what do you think would be the new most popular sport in the world? Football.

Just athletic.

It's hard to... Football does not rock in the Olympics. Honestly... The question is, your memory's got to race in your first exposure to sports is the Olympics.

Boxing, basketball, 100-meter dash...

Water polo?

Not so much as a take, but more of a question. I didn't write this, by the way. Where the fuck do Philly fans get off acting like they're in the sports mecca of the world? Max is able to talk trash with all confidence.

A baseball team that has been around 100 years with two World Series wins, the last one 16 years ago, a basketball team who hasn't won since the 80s, and a football team that's won once since the merger. He wants to talk about winners. Philly is the best team at being second. They're the most prideful, obnoxious fans who literally have dick to show for it. So seriously, where does he get off?

When have I ever said that I'm a winner? Didn't you call Philly the city of champions? City of champions.

But he didn't mean it. Max, this week we're winners. This week we're going to fucking run the ball up PFT's dick hole.

They do a good job. The clip of the link, the guys in the top row of the link celebrating after the Saquon run with the snow coming down, that is pure sports ecstasy. That clip alone is why they should never take away

He got AIDS. This is an all caps. Head coaching interview should not happen until after the Super Bowl. Reason. Exhibit A. The motherfucking Detroit Lions. Ben Johnson and Aaron Glenn both were interviewing the week leading up to the divisional game and it cost them. I don't.

Yeah, yeah, I get that. I get that. That was... And it's just copium from losing, but I could see Lions fans being frustrated.

Yes, I'll change it.

All right, last one. Notre Dame losses are worse than any other team's losses because I can literally blame God for ignoring my prayers. What's the point of having a dead cousin if you can't come through for a natty? BYU doesn't count because Mormonism isn't real and God hates Boston College. Okay.

It was horrible. Okay.

Yeah, I won't.