Colman Noctor

And again, it's not about kind of trying to argue with it, especially the younger children.

Like, you can't negotiate when somebody is that highly aroused and that agitated and difficult.

And the more attempts you try to negotiate, the more riled up the child is getting.

Do you know what I mean?

And the most difficult thing in the world is to try and regulate your own responses in a moment when... So how do you do that?

You're trying to respond rather than react.

That's the key.

Again, trying to respond to what the child is trying to communicate to you rather than react to the behavior that they're doing.

A hundred percent.

You're not trying to react.

You're not trying to meet fire with fire because that's not going to work.

But I always use the example of, say for example, and especially maybe with teenagers, you need to give the child what they need as opposed to what they deserve.

So I'll give you an example.

Young girl comes down, she's looking for cornflakes in the morning and there's no cornflakes left.

And she looks over at her little brother tucking into an overflowing bowl of cornflakes and

And she says, I hate this house and I hate the family.

And she slams the door and runs up to the thing.

The answer in that situation is a not Jerry, go get some more cornflakes, because that's not about the cornflakes.

And, you know, your instinct would be I'm going to ground her.

She slammed the door.