Congresswoman Sara Jacobs

It's not just I want to have a baby, but like...

when and how and if and the logistics right i fly five hours twice a week to get to my job and i will also say these are decisions that usually fall on the women to make and so many women are facing these things but yeah i'm glad you asked it that way because i think there is some grief just about what different how different my life could be if i'd made different choices

For me, it didn't feel sad at all.

Like I was very clear and I do a lot of therapy and I think everyone should.

So I had a lot of clarity for myself about like my values, which are that it matters a lot to me to serve my community to be, to, to work hard.

And it matters a lot to me to be a parent.

And I was very clear on the fact that this was not the right time for me to do that, but that it was something that was important for me.

to keep the option available for the future.

And so to me, it was about preserving options and about giving myself as much agency as I could in this decision so that I wasn't ever forced into a corner where I had to do something at a time that wasn't the right time.

Because if I didn't, I wouldn't be able to have this thing that I know I want, which is to become a parent.

I see a lot of my friends who maybe end up with the person they're with when they're 35 because they're worried about not being able to have kids, right?

That is a lack of agency or a lot of friends change their career path or change their jobs, not because they want to, but because it's the only way that they can make a family work.

And for me, it's really about being very clear about my values, being very clear about what I want, and then really trying to

to give myself as much optionality as I can.

And like a lot of my life is out of my control, right?

This job is very unpredictable.

We get called back at a moment's notice.

I've missed friends' weddings because I had to be stuck here to vote.

I'm back and forth across the country all the time.

And so any piece of my life that I feel like I can try and give myself more options or I can try and smooth the noise and the chaos, I try and take.