Craig Ferguson

Said, no, they're out of beer. We're out of beer. Scotland's out of beer.

Said, no, they're out of beer. We're out of beer. Scotland's out of beer.

Said, no, they're out of beer. We're out of beer. Scotland's out of beer.

I don't know what happened. Apparently, it's just against the law. So we're out. He said, they don't have any beer. So he bought us a bottle of this stuff. It was called El Dorado. El Dorado was a fortified South African wine. I don't think it's actually legal under the Geneva Convention. But it was an import. It was a real street alcohol.

I don't know what happened. Apparently, it's just against the law. So we're out. He said, they don't have any beer. So he bought us a bottle of this stuff. It was called El Dorado. El Dorado was a fortified South African wine. I don't think it's actually legal under the Geneva Convention. But it was an import. It was a real street alcohol.

I don't know what happened. Apparently, it's just against the law. So we're out. He said, they don't have any beer. So he bought us a bottle of this stuff. It was called El Dorado. El Dorado was a fortified South African wine. I don't think it's actually legal under the Geneva Convention. But it was an import. It was a real street alcohol.

So we shared a bottle of that. I blacked out.

So we shared a bottle of that. I blacked out.

So we shared a bottle of that. I blacked out.

Blacked out. Got arrested. Woke up in my own pee. All that. I think it was my pee. I mean, I didn't have it checked.

Blacked out. Got arrested. Woke up in my own pee. All that. I think it was my pee. I mean, I didn't have it checked.

Blacked out. Got arrested. Woke up in my own pee. All that. I think it was my pee. I mean, I didn't have it checked.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I got arrested. I punched the local cop. Jesus. He was a friend of my dad. But it was fine. I was 13. He's a Glasgow cop. He's like, ha, ha, ha. It was funny. And they laughed about it, but I felt bad. And that kind of led me on a very different – that was a fork in the road.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I got arrested. I punched the local cop. Jesus. He was a friend of my dad. But it was fine. I was 13. He's a Glasgow cop. He's like, ha, ha, ha. It was funny. And they laughed about it, but I felt bad. And that kind of led me on a very different – that was a fork in the road.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I got arrested. I punched the local cop. Jesus. He was a friend of my dad. But it was fine. I was 13. He's a Glasgow cop. He's like, ha, ha, ha. It was funny. And they laughed about it, but I felt bad. And that kind of led me on a very different – that was a fork in the road.

My grades suffered a bit after that. Because I awoke with a firm resolve never to do that again. Until the next weekend.

My grades suffered a bit after that. Because I awoke with a firm resolve never to do that again. Until the next weekend.

My grades suffered a bit after that. Because I awoke with a firm resolve never to do that again. Until the next weekend.

No high school diploma. Was that to work?

No high school diploma. Was that to work?