Daisy Hart

Hi, everybody.

I'm Daisy.

I'm the world's worst Asian.

I'm allergic to shellfish, so no sushi dates for me.

I also delivered my first baby at 18.

I'm Asian.

I already ruined that one.

I was going to say I'm not actually a Mexican.

Since I delivered at 18, it was an emergency delivery for one of my friends.

And I made the horrible life decision of becoming a nurse that night because I delivered a super preemie baby.

And, you know, 10 years later, lots of trauma later, I learned through therapy that, you know, I can try to make a joke about my life and hope that it comes out funny.

But looking at your face, it's not coming out funny tonight.

But also, I had some one-liners like, guys that do yoga, are you guys able to suck your own dicks?

Because I'd really love to learn how to do that so I can increase my hyperindependence, as my Uber driver told me it's called.

But my doctor says it's really just a control freak issue.

So that's why I like to do things where I'm in control, like making boys into sissies, so.

There we go.

Yeah.

You know, free therapy for the week.

I had to skip last week.