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Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV. And don't forget to check out everything Tony Hinchcliffe at TonyHinchcliffe.com. And the Sunset Strips, my new comedy club in Austin, Texas, go to SunsetStripATX.com. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, y'all, the L.A. Forum is right around the corner. And contrary to a lot of people's rumors, there are still tickets available for that. The YouTube theater two days later has sold out. Also, there's still a few tickets available for night one at Madison Square Garden, the two night super mega event, the biggest in Keltoni.
history travel go there we'll see you there and i am on tour with stand-up comedy me and some of your favorite cronies from the show do our own stand-up sets i'm going to be in cleveland ohio pittsburgh pennsylvania boston massachusetts baltimore maryland salt lake city san jose dallas houston texas st louis missouri nashville tennessee fort lauderdale and orlando and then that is all of the stand-up on the road i am doing until 2025 i'll be releasing that special just after may we'll see you guys on the road nothing but love here is another episode of kill
Little Tony. Hey, this is Redneck coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get up for Tony Hensley! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives? You're at the number one live podcast in the world, Kill Tony. How you guys feeling?
It's brought to you by Red Rose, The Yellow Rose, Gel Blaster, CM Smokehouse, Austin Security Guard Service, NinjaBuses.com, the great Hull Law Firm, Connect Mobile Health, where you get IV drips. How about one more time for the best damn band in the land, huh? That's the great Carlos Sosa on the horns. Raul Vallejo on the horns. Fernando Castillo on the horns. Michael Gonzalez on the drums.
The mobile mailman, Matt Muehling on the electric guitar. Please, please, John Deese on the keys. And hear no evil, see no evil, D-Madness on the motherfucking bass guitar. The one and the only. Here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made tonight's episode available for you here right now.
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
You guys all ready to start tonight's episode or what? Every single week, I present one of the funniest comedians in the world to be on this show. I'm excited about this one. You know, when it's somebody's first time on this show, I always have them with other people, kind of get them acclimated to the flow of everything.
This is one of the funniest and smartest and coolest stand-up comedians out of New York. Amazing stuff coming from him. Specials out. Bunch of great stuff. You guys are going to absolutely love him. His first time rolling solo on Kill Tony. Make some noise for the great and powerful Joe List, everybody. Yeah.
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Chapter 2: What upcoming events are mentioned?
You can do better than that. Make some fucking noise for Joe List. There you go. Yeah, fuck yeah, the horn players are fucking on one tonight. I love that shit. Fill in the room. Joe List, how we doing? I'm doing great. I've actually been on the show before. No, I know, but you were on with Sugar Sean O'Malley. Yeah, yeah, oh, okay, sorry.
Yeah, I was saying when I have people on for their first time, I have them on with other people. to acclimate them so that they understand the flow of everything. And now you're here.
I misunderstood. I thought you forgot about me. I almost killed myself back there. Nope.
I told the guy, I'm like, I'm not going out. He forgot about me. I suck. I blew it. Joe, tell us what you got going on. What do you want people to go see? Where is it at? Big show, May 2nd, Los Angeles, Regent Theater.
Fly in, come out, go see. I'm up against Burr. That crazy show. Bill Burr, Maniscalco, Nate Bargessi. They're all at Hollywood Bowl at the same time. And my show's on Skid Row. So I'm a little nervous.
On May 2nd. I might bring in homeless people if no one comes. So please. Unbelievable. You're also one week before we do a fucking arena in Los Angeles. The L.A. Forum, May 10th. A little fun fact for you. The return to Los Angeles where it all started. Very exciting. We're going to your hometown, beautiful Madison Square Garden, doing two nights, August 9th and 10th.
Fuck yeah, that's a nice room. I've done it before. I opened for somebody. I didn't sell it out, obviously. It's fun. It's a good room. Legendary. Muhammad Ali played there. That is true. And Rowdy Roddy Piper. Yes. They fought each other. They actually did. And actually, no, that was a separate thing. But they did. They did something. It wasn't at MSG.
I think that was in the Philippines or the forum or something. It doesn't matter. Who gives a fuck? Point is, you know how the show works, Joe. You guys know how the show works? Over 200 people signed up to be in this bucket. We'll let that one be the first bucket pull since fucking the wind blew it out. We're going to go grab them from a bar across the street.
If I pull their name out, they get 60 seconds uninterrupted. You know the time's up and you hear the sound of a kitten. That means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. And then that means they have to wrap it up immediately after that. It doesn't really apply for our regulars. We kind of let them do whatever they kind of want, and the rest is history.
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Chapter 3: What does Joe List say about his comedy career?
Yeah, it's 20 years old this year. You said that you like fucking 20-year-olds, which has nothing to do with Baja Blast. It's 20 years old. I fucked a Baja Blast yesterday. You fucked a Baja Blast. Yeah, I put it on my... Well, I didn't put that part on my TikTok, but... Oh, my God. And then what was the final thing? You almost said something compelling. You say the N-word to what? Jamie Foxx.
Me and Leonardo DiCaprio have that in common. We like saying the N-word to Jamie Foxx. Django Unchained joke. Right. No better time than... I mean, Django Unchained came out about half a Baja Blast ago.
Yeah.
It's, I mean, not quite that in the universe, but I guess it's kind of a reach. Joe List, what do you think about this fat magician? My mom just told me I was fat, too, so thanks. Thank you for that. Everything you say sucks. Well, like I said, my favorite part of Casey is all the people that didn't get it. And way more people didn't get you. So that was fun. Yeah.
If you like people not getting it, this is basically Dave Chappelle right here. I mean, he is the reverse. Absolutely. People just absolutely awestruck at what you prepared. How long have you been doing stand-up? A little under two years. Wow. Really? You work hard at it? You do like a few spots a week or something? Are you really lazy? You have a terrible work ethic? No.
I've been doing it consistently every week, at least four mics a week for the past six months. Okay. So you really, really started going hard six months ago. How's it going for you out there? Is that your best minute? No, I actually just made both of those jokes up today. Okay, why don't you tell us the best joke that you've come up with in two years?
I don't know why, God, why in the world you would go on a show where millions of people are going to eventually watch it and go, I came up with this on my bird scooter on the way here. I thought it was good. I don't know what to tell you.
You thought wrong, but now I want to know, in all of your time, four mics a week for six months and a year and a half of procrastinating before that, I want to know what your very best quick joke is. Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, with his very best, a name you will easily forget. It's Nico Casablancas.
so my mom told me that I should not pursue my dream of doing comedy, and I was like, well, how would I listen to a fucking woman that married the first dick that she sucked? You know what I mean?
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Chapter 4: How does the audience react to the performances?
So I thought summer and winter would be good. I wanted to get deep in it because I have a passion for music.
What about funny and you? Something like...
Holy shit, bro. What are some of the songs that you play? What do you do? You have your own music?
Techno, EDM.
You have your own style? No, nothing up right now. So you just play other people's music? Yes. Right. Yes. Okay. And what's the most magical night you've had? 77 festivals, a lot under your belt, a lot slightly above your belt as well, as your mother is correct. You are getting fat, and you shouldn't do comedy.
Okay.
fuck what's the most amazing time 77 music festivals um probably the first time i did the best acid that i'd ever had and it was at electric forest um and i felt like i was in touch with the trees and the molecules were like coming in my body and stuff like that and like yeah yeah like i felt like i was like really i feel bad for the trees on that one like yeah this guy's one of us
Would have been funnier to actually pull a tree out of the bucket tonight and have it perform. Nico, congratulations. You're leaving here with a very small joke book via the great Bones Eye. Real handmade Texas leather. There goes Nico. Not much to him, folks. That's what happens. This ain't easy. Comedy's not easy. Only about fucking a small percentage of people are funny.
Make some noise for your next bucket poll. Brendan Higgins, everybody. Here we go. Anything can happen. You said give it up for Brendan Higgins, gang. Come on.
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Chapter 5: What happens during the Mexican drum off?
For those of you that don't know, if he loses, Michael becomes an insurance agent and Roy Mendoza becomes the new drummer on Kill Tony here with a drum solo. This is a Mexican drum off. This is Roy Mendoza. All right. Roy Mendoza with an attempt. An absolute attempt. And here to defend his throne, undefeated all time in Mexican drum offs, this is indeed Kill Tony's very own Michael Gonzalez.
Here he is repping the ladies soccer team of Austin, Texas, and clearly representing a little bit of Genghis Khan on his head, everyone. This is Michael Gonzalez with a drum solo. Michael Gonzalez. Oh, God. Oh, boy. I think we're having a little retirement party here tonight, everyone. How many of you have Roy Mendoza winning that? Ooh, Rick Diaz-like response there.
Chapter 6: How does the audience react to the drum performances?
How many of you have Michael Gonzalez winning? People on the internet, believe it or not, I swear to God, there are people that will say that Roy Mendoza won that. It's very funny. I swear to God, this was facing me backwards, the backside of this little joke book with a hanging little man on a noose. It says, no bueno.
On the back of this little joke book, and I'm giving you this as a retirement present. You understand you're no longer allowed to do stand-up comedy. Do you understand? Deal? You want to shake on it? You're retired. Roy Mendoza, everybody. There he goes. Holy shit, the first ever retirement edition of A Mexican Drum Off. We having fun tonight.
Chapter 7: What are the comedic experiences shared by Deshaun Johnson?
Anything can happen. Let's keep it moving. Your next bucket pool, 60 seconds uninterrupted, going to Deshaun Johnson, everybody. One, two, three, four. Hey, music. I don't have any jokes, I just came here to scare white people. What's going on? It's Black History Month and I can't celebrate it because I'm not a real nigga, as you can tell by the size of my pants.
Some bitch outside said I was the first nigga she ever seen with a thigh gap. That fucking bugged me. I can't celebrate Black History Month because I'm also a nigga that went through an emo phase. You know that shit. My mom's a cunt and my dad hates, no? Okay, fair enough. Yeah, I don't have any jokes. I just came here to find a white girl with a fat ass and a good credit score.
I'm trying to make waffle-colored niggas. Can we make waffle-colored niggas, please? Uh, yeah, I'm trying to fuck my way into a cottage. Does everyone have a cottage?
Chapter 8: What insights does Deshaun share about his life and career?
Do you have a cottage, sir? All right. Fair enough. Does that mean a nigga's done? What's up? Fantastic. It does mean that a man is done. Yeah. Deshawn, I gotta tell you, that was absolutely fantastic. The best bucket pool of the night, not from the inside. That was great. I love it. You disguise your punchlines by saying you don't have jokes, and then you do a joke.
Most of the bucket pools tonight didn't have jokes, didn't say that they didn't have jokes, and just didn't have jokes. You did something totally different outside of the box. Black History Month is booming. I can't tell where the black leather stops and your neck begins exactly. You are quite the, you are a beacon of Black History Month. Truly, I can't think of a better representative than you.
Yeah, yeah. You feel comfy up here, obviously, right? Absolutely. I'm right at home. Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm from Canada. That's probably why. That's true.
I'm really not a real nigga.
So you're comfortable, too. I was born and raised in an all-black neighborhood, and you are from Canada. So who would have guessed? Exactly. Who would have guessed? What part of Canada are you from? I'm from Toronto, Canada. I love that. Toronto, Canada. The rare black Toronto man. I love it. I love it. What was it like growing up in Toronto? Um... Fuck. It was difficult. Yeah.
A lot of people such as yourselves, you know, called me niggers.
Really?
They do that in Canada?
Since I was a child.
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