Dallas Jenkins
speaker
227 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
Dallas Jenkins’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And he says three times in a span of several verses, so that I will get glory.
Yeah, so that didn't happen until that night. So in the midst of the failure, you're wrestling with what caused it. And for me as an analyzer, I analyze well. I solve problems. I wrestle with causes and effects. It's one of the things that I'm fairly good at. And then I'm realizing maybe I'm not good at it. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm not. So there's the calling. Yeah, yeah, for sure.
There's the calling. There's the spiritual direction that I believe God had given me. Now I'm questioning whether that's real. Yeah, well, that's the thing about— And then there's the surface. There's the practical. What mistakes did I make to bring me to this place?
So in the afternoon, Friday afternoon, it was the latter. I'm so consumed by that that I don't have room in my head or heart to start to wrestle yet with the practical. Was it a mistake, a strategic error? Right now it's a, have the last 20 years of my life led to this? I need to learn how to drive a bus so that I can provide for my family. So that's what I'm worried about.
So God brings us to the latter. He's saying, he's helping us wrestle with Our calling, and his first message to us, or at least what we are wrestling with, is the macro level, the foundation to your point. Was I wrong all along?
So in that moment, reading that story of the feet of the 5,000 was very comforting because it's a, okay, this doesn't necessarily mean that God's abandoned me to your point or that I'm fundamentally flawed in my calling. Now, I don't know what's next.
Yeah, so... I'll get to that because what I did was in the moment, I'm struggling with faith in myself, for sure. Struggling with faith in my ability to hear God's voice and know what I'm supposed to be doing. And God brings in this reminder of a story that makes me feel a little bit better of foundation.
Yes, that's her contradiction. She was not Job's wife. She did not say, God, I. That's interesting.
Right. So in the midst of it—this is why you're who you are— I wouldn't have put it this way, but we were also unknowingly wrestling, whether it's an intuition or a revelation, and here's why. Because our conclusion from the story that we were reading was, okay, right now we are at that point of hunger and desperation. The next step is the miracle.
Jesus brought them to that place so that they were hungry and desperate, so that the only solution to their problem was a miracle, the thing that only he could do.
So that I will get glory.
So in the moment... A bad thing has happened, but it's the precursor to something great. So what is it? We know that Jesus is about to do something extraordinary in the feeding of the 5,000. So what is God about to do with us?
Yeah, maybe. We're thinking tonight. the numbers might so dramatically shift in a miraculous way that God will get glory and that our movie will actually surprise and counteract the math equation that has taken place. And so we're thinking, don't be surprised if tonight the numbers... magically, supernaturally, miraculously turn around. The math equation that Hollywood is used to is upended.
And what is about to happen to us is what happened to the people who were hungry and desperate 2,000 years ago. So that night, the numbers got worse. So now we're going... Okay. So much for that hypothesis. Yes. So we're back to square one. And now I go to the former, when you had the two options of, is it a practical mistake? Is it an error that was made? Or is it a foundational problem?
Okay, well... I'm going to go now to the—my brain is now back to how I normally am, and I'm going to do what I normally do. I'm going to get online. I'm going to pull up Microsoft Word, and I'm going to do a 15-page memo analyzing all the errors and strategies that were mistaken to lead me to this point. So— I'm writing it out. This is what I did wrong. To my credit, I'm taking blame.
I'm not putting blame on anyone else. I was wrong. I missed it. I'm on page 14 of my 15-page memo, analyzing everything that went wrong. Ping pops, something pops up on my computer. It's four o'clock in the morning. Message pops up on Facebook Messenger from someone I've never met. We're friends on Facebook. We've talked maybe once a year. Doesn't say hi, doesn't say hello. Just ping, remember.
Your job is not to feed the 5,000. It's only to provide the loaves and fish. So I pause for a moment. I wonder if genuinely, with my computer recording what Amanda and I talked about today, how does this person know to speak to this thing we've been wrestling with all day?
Yeah, so I didn't say, hey, Alex, nice to hear from you. I just go, what are you doing up at four in the morning? because I'm trying to analyze. He says, oh, I'm in Romania. I'm on the other side of the world right now. I just heard about your movie, and I wanted to say that. And I said, before I respond, can I ask you why you told me that? He said, oh, that wasn't me.
God told me to tell you that. Okay, so tell me the message again. Remember, your job is not to feed the 5,000. It's only to provide the loaves and fish.
So I first had to... My life changed in that moment because my question about whether or not God was present was clearly answered. I found out later that Alex said he was walking home from the grocery store, and he looked up my movie, saw it was a failure. He had enjoyed it. He had seen it himself. He was disappointed.
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