Damien Hughes

And then it's the idea of having something that you value.

So control, value, and mastery are the factors that mean if you can factor them into your life rather than focus on the external rewards of I'm focused on how big my bank balance is, the car I drive, or the house I live in,

We know that the self-determination theory gives you that fuel that burns for so much longer, that gives you the chance of riding out the rollercoaster that life sometimes puts you on.

the kind of advice that answers any question we're about to ask ourselves for the next 20 minutes on this conversation right well hector was the one that like he you know we often talk about how meeting our guests and we take the ideas away and apply it in my life he was the one that sort of re-educated me on the quality of asking better questions to my children

So he tells a story, don't he?

Do you remember when he was like, he was 14 and he came home from La Masia, Barcelona's academy, and his parents were like, oh, did you win?

I was like, why is that important for you?

It was a 14-year-old football match.

Why don't you ask me, did I enjoy myself?

Why don't you ask me, what did I learn?

Why don't you ask me, how was I a good teammate?

Because surely they're better questions to describe the experience than whether I won or lost.

Because if I lost, does it mean that it wasn't a valuable experience?

And when I reflected on it, I thought the other questions I'll ask my kids when they either rugby or netball, I was asking them, did you win?

And he said, it doesn't matter.

Did you enjoy it?

What did you learn?

And how did you contribute to being a good teammate?

Far more valuable.

I'd love to, because this was the moment when I remember thinking...