Dan Harris

Well, one thing to say is if you're freaking out about exposing yourself to social situations and you're you're young um recognize that this is not your fault you're not first of all you're not alone you're not like uniquely dysfunctional this is very very common and it's my generation our generation that created a world for you where you got insufficient training in how to do this in part

Well, one thing to say is if you're freaking out about exposing yourself to social situations and you're you're young um recognize that this is not your fault you're not first of all you're not alone you're not like uniquely dysfunctional this is very very common and it's my generation our generation that created a world for you where you got insufficient training in how to do this in part

This is massively exacerbated by COVID, but but in part because we as grownups didn't really understand that we we needed we started helicopter parenting and we needed to create a world for you where you're out there. bumping up against other kids and getting scrapes and getting insults and learning how to build up your psychological immunity. And that's on us.

This is massively exacerbated by COVID, but but in part because we as grownups didn't really understand that we we needed we started helicopter parenting and we needed to create a world for you where you're out there. bumping up against other kids and getting scrapes and getting insults and learning how to build up your psychological immunity. And that's on us.

And so what I want to first remove, hopefully, is the shame. And then second, and this goes to masculinity, and I know this is something you think about a lot, Scott. It's like rethinking what is masculinity? Strength is part of it, but what is real strength?

And so what I want to first remove, hopefully, is the shame. And then second, and this goes to masculinity, and I know this is something you think about a lot, Scott. It's like rethinking what is masculinity? Strength is part of it, but what is real strength?

Real strength, I like in Buddhism, and I try to practice Buddhism, that one of the ancient symbols is a lion, which is a great symbol of ferocity, but it has nothing to do with dominance. It has to do with the courage to face your own shit.

Real strength, I like in Buddhism, and I try to practice Buddhism, that one of the ancient symbols is a lion, which is a great symbol of ferocity, but it has nothing to do with dominance. It has to do with the courage to face your own shit.

to face your own mind and that is what is required in order to do the work to take the risk to go out into social situations which is going to make you uncomfortable to make you gulp for air possibly to provoke a starburst of self-critical thoughts in your mind but that is courage And how do you overcome fear? You face it in manageable little steps. So take a little risk.

to face your own mind and that is what is required in order to do the work to take the risk to go out into social situations which is going to make you uncomfortable to make you gulp for air possibly to provoke a starburst of self-critical thoughts in your mind but that is courage And how do you overcome fear? You face it in manageable little steps. So take a little risk.

divulge something personal to somebody you trust at work and see what happens. Go to the party that you otherwise wouldn't go to, but tell yourself you only have to go for five minutes. Baby steps of facing what scares you, and over time, it won't scare you as much. That is real baller courage.

divulge something personal to somebody you trust at work and see what happens. Go to the party that you otherwise wouldn't go to, but tell yourself you only have to go for five minutes. Baby steps of facing what scares you, and over time, it won't scare you as much. That is real baller courage.

Well, I still have panic attacks. Um, um, right now, the big place of panic for me is claustrophobia. So I've had a lot of trouble over the last couple of years on elevators and airplanes. I, to a certain extent, blame COVID for this because when COVID hit, we, I, I moved to the suburbs. I wasn't in the city. I wasn't on elevators anymore and I wasn't flying.

Well, I still have panic attacks. Um, um, right now, the big place of panic for me is claustrophobia. So I've had a lot of trouble over the last couple of years on elevators and airplanes. I, to a certain extent, blame COVID for this because when COVID hit, we, I, I moved to the suburbs. I wasn't in the city. I wasn't on elevators anymore and I wasn't flying.

And then when I went back to all of that, um, uh, I really started to struggle and panic feeds on itself. And so the only remedy is to face it, to actually put yourself in the situation that scares you. So I would literally ride elevators at the Westchester Mall with my shrink.

And then when I went back to all of that, um, uh, I really started to struggle and panic feeds on itself. And so the only remedy is to face it, to actually put yourself in the situation that scares you. So I would literally ride elevators at the Westchester Mall with my shrink.

uh who would help me you know see to work with cognitive behavioral therapy which is a psychological term of art to face what was scaring me to learn how to engage in supportive self-talk to talk myself through it and uh it really helped and and by the way if you We can go wherever you want here.

uh who would help me you know see to work with cognitive behavioral therapy which is a psychological term of art to face what was scaring me to learn how to engage in supportive self-talk to talk myself through it and uh it really helped and and by the way if you We can go wherever you want here.

But if you want a very specific answer to Scott's question earlier about cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to work yourself through the shit that scares you, whether it's social or anything else, I'm happy to talk about that because there's a lot to say there.

But if you want a very specific answer to Scott's question earlier about cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to work yourself through the shit that scares you, whether it's social or anything else, I'm happy to talk about that because there's a lot to say there.