Dan Savage

So you're not at a wedding where you don't know anyone. You don't have anybody to talk to. You don't have anybody to dish with. That's what the plus one is for. It's why people who aren't in relationships at all, who have no significant, at least romantically significant others in their lives are given a plus one. So they have someone, one, someone singular at the event with them.

And to anyone out there who saw that tweet or sorry, that post to a certain social media platform and is currently pulling together a guest list for a wedding, which again is when the plus one thing comes up mostly. And there's someone you want to invite who's Polly and has more than one partner right now.

And to anyone out there who saw that tweet or sorry, that post to a certain social media platform and is currently pulling together a guest list for a wedding, which again is when the plus one thing comes up mostly. And there's someone you want to invite who's Polly and has more than one partner right now.

And you think they might be the sensitive type who would take to social media to complain about you after they got that invitation with a just plus one on it. Yeah.

And you think they might be the sensitive type who would take to social media to complain about you after they got that invitation with a just plus one on it. Yeah.

Look, in my experience, in my lived experience, which is the best argument and most unimpeachable evidence in these subjective times in which we live, in my experience, in every poly triad, let's call it, there is one introvert in that relationship who would rather stay home. So even if you plus two someone in a poly triad, you send out that invitation technically for three hours,

Look, in my experience, in my lived experience, which is the best argument and most unimpeachable evidence in these subjective times in which we live, in my experience, in every poly triad, let's call it, there is one introvert in that relationship who would rather stay home. So even if you plus two someone in a poly triad, you send out that invitation technically for three hours,

Only two people are going to show up at your wedding. And if it's a destination wedding, not even the two people who came wanted to be there either. Second thing I wanted to say before we get to the calls, thank you.

Only two people are going to show up at your wedding. And if it's a destination wedding, not even the two people who came wanted to be there either. Second thing I wanted to say before we get to the calls, thank you.

Thank you to everyone who jumped into the comment thread on last week's show to share your FAFO stories, your fucked around and found out something good stories, reading about your sexual adventures and the risks you took and the good things you found out. after taking those risks, after fucking around. It was the best birthday present ever. It was just what I wanted. How did you know? Oh, right.

Thank you to everyone who jumped into the comment thread on last week's show to share your FAFO stories, your fucked around and found out something good stories, reading about your sexual adventures and the risks you took and the good things you found out. after taking those risks, after fucking around. It was the best birthday present ever. It was just what I wanted. How did you know? Oh, right.

You knew because I asked. Like I'm always telling listeners, the best way to get what you want is to ask for it. And I asked for it and I got what I wanted. So many great stories, including so many great Met sleazy stories, as opposed to all those Met cute stories we hear all the time. Met sleazy stories. My favorite kind of meeting stories. Thank you for sharing them.

You knew because I asked. Like I'm always telling listeners, the best way to get what you want is to ask for it. And I asked for it and I got what I wanted. So many great stories, including so many great Met sleazy stories, as opposed to all those Met cute stories we hear all the time. Met sleazy stories. My favorite kind of meeting stories. Thank you for sharing them.

But there's one story I wanted to highlight, Randy's FAFO story. Randy said it was a tame one, but you know what? It was a great one with lessons in it for a lot of us. The risk Randy took was an ask, not an act. After a cancer scare, he went to the wife and asked about opening up their relationship.

But there's one story I wanted to highlight, Randy's FAFO story. Randy said it was a tame one, but you know what? It was a great one with lessons in it for a lot of us. The risk Randy took was an ask, not an act. After a cancer scare, he went to the wife and asked about opening up their relationship.

And then she opened up during that conversation about opening up that she was feeling increasingly ace slash aero. And seven years later, still together, still married, Randy and the wife. Randy dates other people. His wife does not. And they are in what he describes as a companionate and very happy marriage still. That got me thinking. Like most open relationships were monogamous at the start.

And then she opened up during that conversation about opening up that she was feeling increasingly ace slash aero. And seven years later, still together, still married, Randy and the wife. Randy dates other people. His wife does not. And they are in what he describes as a companionate and very happy marriage still. That got me thinking. Like most open relationships were monogamous at the start.

Most sexless marriages were sexual at the start. A lot of people have a hard time addressing the disappearance of sex from a long-term relationship, addressing it directly. And Randy's story is really a great example of a couple that successfully managed the pivot from sexual to companionate in an open and honest way.

Most sexless marriages were sexual at the start. A lot of people have a hard time addressing the disappearance of sex from a long-term relationship, addressing it directly. And Randy's story is really a great example of a couple that successfully managed the pivot from sexual to companionate in an open and honest way.

A pivot, most of us, if our relationships last decades and decades and decades, will eventually, if not for sexual reasons, maybe for reasons of physical limitation or disease or infirmity, have to make. We default into monogamy, many of us, when we get into relationships, not an active choice. A lot of couples out there slide into companionate without it feeling like an active or honest choice.