Dan Savage

Okay, she had a right to be upset. I agree. What she did with the upset was not okay. And there are consequences now for the both of you, but really for this kid, right?

Slow your roll. That's how you win this kid back. My stepmother eventually won me over by giving me space and time, which I needed. My dad left my mom for my stepmom. I was ice fucking cold and she did not come at me. She let me be ice fucking cold. It was painful for her. I was a teenager. I was 15. She gave us space. She gave us time.

Slow your roll. That's how you win this kid back. My stepmother eventually won me over by giving me space and time, which I needed. My dad left my mom for my stepmom. I was ice fucking cold and she did not come at me. She let me be ice fucking cold. It was painful for her. I was a teenager. I was 15. She gave us space. She gave us time.

And one of the reasons we came around on her was that she wasn't forcing herself on us. And she wasn't making demands that we didn't feel she was entitled to make that would have put us into conflict with our mom at that time. Like we were showing allegiance to our mom, even like this kid is thinking she's showing allegiance to our mom. And we just needed time and space.

And one of the reasons we came around on her was that she wasn't forcing herself on us. And she wasn't making demands that we didn't feel she was entitled to make that would have put us into conflict with our mom at that time. Like we were showing allegiance to our mom, even like this kid is thinking she's showing allegiance to our mom. And we just needed time and space.

And if you move back in, that's not giving this kid time or space. Right. And then you need to game out like what you know of yourself is like you like to dink around a little bit on the internet and send flirty messages to hot women. Who doesn't? Is there space for that in your relationship? Or is that something you're going to have to...

And if you move back in, that's not giving this kid time or space. Right. And then you need to game out like what you know of yourself is like you like to dink around a little bit on the internet and send flirty messages to hot women. Who doesn't? Is there space for that in your relationship? Or is that something you're going to have to...

Or can you go cold turkey on never, ever do ever, ever, ever again? And will she take your word for that? Or is she going to be going through your phone and you're going to be dating the East German secret police and not an adult who can allow you some zone of erotic autonomy? Like I think all adults kind of need that zone of erotic autonomy.

Or can you go cold turkey on never, ever do ever, ever, ever again? And will she take your word for that? Or is she going to be going through your phone and you're going to be dating the East German secret police and not an adult who can allow you some zone of erotic autonomy? Like I think all adults kind of need that zone of erotic autonomy.

And I think it's good that sometimes we flirt with other people and we get that affirmation of our desirability. And then if we're plowing that sexual energy and erotic energy into our relationship, our partner benefits from that. Even if they don't want to hear about it, don't want to know about it, or wouldn't approve of it.

And I think it's good that sometimes we flirt with other people and we get that affirmation of our desirability. And then if we're plowing that sexual energy and erotic energy into our relationship, our partner benefits from that. Even if they don't want to hear about it, don't want to know about it, or wouldn't approve of it.

We used to get that like at work, like we'd flirt with a coworker we thought was hot or we'd go out for drinks after work and maybe we'd have a conversation with a stranger that wouldn't go anywhere. But like if our partner saw us flirting, it would be a problem. And the internet, the phone, that's the problem. Like your partner has access. They can see where people flirt now, which is online.

We used to get that like at work, like we'd flirt with a coworker we thought was hot or we'd go out for drinks after work and maybe we'd have a conversation with a stranger that wouldn't go anywhere. But like if our partner saw us flirting, it would be a problem. And the internet, the phone, that's the problem. Like your partner has access. They can see where people flirt now, which is online.

And so are you allowed that or not? Are you not? And if you're not allowed that, can you give it up forever? And if you can't, you're just like lighting a fuse that runs to a bomb that's going to explode two years from now or six months from now.

And so are you allowed that or not? Are you not? And if you're not allowed that, can you give it up forever? And if you can't, you're just like lighting a fuse that runs to a bomb that's going to explode two years from now or six months from now.

Okay, well then, I wouldn't get back together with this person, but I would support your choice.

Okay, well then, I wouldn't get back together with this person, but I would support your choice.

And again, I'm going to assume the pussy is amazing. Can confirm. All right, so yeah, I guess if the dick was truly amazing, I might make allowances I wouldn't otherwise for average.

And again, I'm going to assume the pussy is amazing. Can confirm. All right, so yeah, I guess if the dick was truly amazing, I might make allowances I wouldn't otherwise for average.

So I will endorse this with some hesitation on the condition that for at least the next year, you maintain separate households and give this 14-year-old some space and time to recover from the trauma her mother needlessly inflicted on her because she was having a fight with her boyfriend about things adults in relationships have conflict about all the time and do not...