Dan Savage

He's going to find your PrEP or he's going to find your receipts, payments you've been making to these sex workers, however you've been making them, or he's going to find out he has a sexually transmitted infection because although you are using PrEP, which protects you from HIV infection, PrEP does not protect you from chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, other sexually transmitted infections.

He's going to find your PrEP or he's going to find your receipts, payments you've been making to these sex workers, however you've been making them, or he's going to find out he has a sexually transmitted infection because although you are using PrEP, which protects you from HIV infection, PrEP does not protect you from chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, other sexually transmitted infections.

Even condoms, of course, there's the risk of the skin-to-skin sexually transmitted infections that most sexually active gay men have already been exposed to by your stage of life anyway. So I don't think too tremendous a concern, HPV or herpes, but still a concern. But if you end up giving him gonorrhea...

Even condoms, of course, there's the risk of the skin-to-skin sexually transmitted infections that most sexually active gay men have already been exposed to by your stage of life anyway. So I don't think too tremendous a concern, HPV or herpes, but still a concern. But if you end up giving him gonorrhea...

That's because you had sex with somebody else who gave you gonorrhea, not using a condom, even if you were on PrEP. So he's going to find out sooner or later. And the longer this goes on, the worse it's going to be for you. You tried to have that conversation with him about why you wanted to open the relationship. You had that conversation with him about why you wanted to open the relationship.

That's because you had sex with somebody else who gave you gonorrhea, not using a condom, even if you were on PrEP. So he's going to find out sooner or later. And the longer this goes on, the worse it's going to be for you. You tried to have that conversation with him about why you wanted to open the relationship. You had that conversation with him about why you wanted to open the relationship.

You want more sexual excitement. You want more novelty. And he agreed reluctantly and then did that thing that some people who agree reluctantly to open the relationship will do, which is to make one of the rules.

You want more sexual excitement. You want more novelty. And he agreed reluctantly and then did that thing that some people who agree reluctantly to open the relationship will do, which is to make one of the rules.

I have to know you have to tell me you have to disclose and then retaliate after a disclosure by blowing the fuck up about the fact that you slept with somebody else or you did it wrong or was the wrong time or you did this one tiny little thing wrong. And then that's just drama. They get to scream and yell at you.

I have to know you have to tell me you have to disclose and then retaliate after a disclosure by blowing the fuck up about the fact that you slept with somebody else or you did it wrong or was the wrong time or you did this one tiny little thing wrong. And then that's just drama. They get to scream and yell at you.

about how you did this thing they told you that you could do if you did it perfectly, which, of course, you never quite managed to do. It's a particularly volatile way pudness expresses itself. Somebody who is poly or open under duress, they agreed because they want to stay in the relationship, but they're angry about it.

about how you did this thing they told you that you could do if you did it perfectly, which, of course, you never quite managed to do. It's a particularly volatile way pudness expresses itself. Somebody who is poly or open under duress, they agreed because they want to stay in the relationship, but they're angry about it.

And so they punish the person who issued the open or over ultimatum that they accepted, but are still angry about. And it's untenable. The relationship can't go on like this forever. And I think you know that. And you're creating all sorts of. Trails of evidence here, the 30 hours on Grindr, text messages, making appointments with sex workers, paying sex workers.

And so they punish the person who issued the open or over ultimatum that they accepted, but are still angry about. And it's untenable. The relationship can't go on like this forever. And I think you know that. And you're creating all sorts of. Trails of evidence here, the 30 hours on Grindr, text messages, making appointments with sex workers, paying sex workers.

I don't know if you're using PayPal or a cash app or your credit card, but that's evidence that he might stumble over. But the biggest risk here is you're having unprotected sex with other men after promising him that if you had sex with other men, you would use condoms.

I don't know if you're using PayPal or a cash app or your credit card, but that's evidence that he might stumble over. But the biggest risk here is you're having unprotected sex with other men after promising him that if you had sex with other men, you would use condoms.

and you are not using condoms and having sex with sex workers and other gay men, your risk of acquiring a sexually transmitted infection and passing it on to your boyfriend, which is probably not something your relationship could come back from, is really high. I think you just have to have the conversation again.

and you are not using condoms and having sex with sex workers and other gay men, your risk of acquiring a sexually transmitted infection and passing it on to your boyfriend, which is probably not something your relationship could come back from, is really high. I think you just have to have the conversation again.

I think you need to go to him and say, look, these rules that we set out to allow for me to have sex with other people, which I require to be content in our relationship are unworkable and unworkable by design. I don't think leave that out. Don't say to him unworkable, but design that's me talking to you. They're kind of unworkable by design.

I think you need to go to him and say, look, these rules that we set out to allow for me to have sex with other people, which I require to be content in our relationship are unworkable and unworkable by design. I don't think leave that out. Don't say to him unworkable, but design that's me talking to you. They're kind of unworkable by design.