Dan Savage

Like people don't talk with their mouth full, but they can take a breath every once in a while. What is it that they could be allowed that you're not allowed?

Like people don't talk with their mouth full, but they can take a breath every once in a while. What is it that they could be allowed that you're not allowed?

Because when you think about a cuckold relationship and eroticized cheating and eroticized infidelity or a one-sided open relationship as the meanest cuckold risk describes them, there is an imbalance, there is an unfairness, there's betrayal, but it's allowed and yet it still is arousing. Okay, so What could your current crop of lovers be allowed to do that you yourself are not allowed to do?

Because when you think about a cuckold relationship and eroticized cheating and eroticized infidelity or a one-sided open relationship as the meanest cuckold risk describes them, there is an imbalance, there is an unfairness, there's betrayal, but it's allowed and yet it still is arousing. Okay, so What could your current crop of lovers be allowed to do that you yourself are not allowed to do?

I'm trying to think of an example of what it might be, but it really depends on the dynamics of your relationships and the sex that you enjoy with your partners. And if you can... Find something that vibes with that cut queen fantasy, the violation of the cut queen fantasy, the violation of the monogamous commitment that those fantasies represented.

I'm trying to think of an example of what it might be, but it really depends on the dynamics of your relationships and the sex that you enjoy with your partners. And if you can... Find something that vibes with that cut queen fantasy, the violation of the cut queen fantasy, the violation of the monogamous commitment that those fantasies represented.

You might be able to get there again, just through oral and just through dirty talk or closing your eyes and thinking those dirty thoughts again. If this isn't a physical change tied to age where you're a little more dependent now and the kind of stimulation that a vibrator provides you and that a tongue doesn't have the beats per minute to provide you with anymore.

You might be able to get there again, just through oral and just through dirty talk or closing your eyes and thinking those dirty thoughts again. If this isn't a physical change tied to age where you're a little more dependent now and the kind of stimulation that a vibrator provides you and that a tongue doesn't have the beats per minute to provide you with anymore.

Our bodies change as we get older. We have to roll with them. We can eternally grieve what we've lost or we can move into the new ways and explore the new ways and be motivated to find new things that work for us, explore new avenues of pleasure, new kinds of stimulation. The falling away of some things that worked for us just because our bodies were just so…

Our bodies change as we get older. We have to roll with them. We can eternally grieve what we've lost or we can move into the new ways and explore the new ways and be motivated to find new things that work for us, explore new avenues of pleasure, new kinds of stimulation. The falling away of some things that worked for us just because our bodies were just so…

Keyed up and easily aroused, the falling away of some of those things can be very motivating. And then what you end up is finding a whole bunch of new things that you wouldn't have been motivated to explore or try a decade ago. And you're exploring and trying now. This may just be how your body works from here on out.

Keyed up and easily aroused, the falling away of some of those things can be very motivating. And then what you end up is finding a whole bunch of new things that you wouldn't have been motivated to explore or try a decade ago. And you're exploring and trying now. This may just be how your body works from here on out.

You may be able to tap into your cut queen fantasies again by peeling back the cut queen layer and seeing what emotional dynamics and erotic dynamics were underneath the cut queen veneer. But whatever. Enjoy. And stop saying, I can't come. You don't want to create a kind of weird feedback loop self-fulfilling prophecy by repeating that horrible phrase over and over and over again. You can come.

You may be able to tap into your cut queen fantasies again by peeling back the cut queen layer and seeing what emotional dynamics and erotic dynamics were underneath the cut queen veneer. But whatever. Enjoy. And stop saying, I can't come. You don't want to create a kind of weird feedback loop self-fulfilling prophecy by repeating that horrible phrase over and over and over again. You can come.

You do come with your partners. and a vibrator. That's coming. That counts. Alrighty, time for listener feedback. First up, I'm going to read some of the comments left on last week's show in the very lively comment threads at savage.love. Says superstar commenter by Dan Fan, on the idea that it is always the husband who initiates cuckolding or hot wifing, and has to talk the wife into it.

You do come with your partners. and a vibrator. That's coming. That counts. Alrighty, time for listener feedback. First up, I'm going to read some of the comments left on last week's show in the very lively comment threads at savage.love. Says superstar commenter by Dan Fan, on the idea that it is always the husband who initiates cuckolding or hot wifing, and has to talk the wife into it.

I am not sure that's the case. It certainly doesn't jibe with Doc Chocolate's observation about how many women want gangbangs. I think women feel that they need to put on a show of saying they aren't interested at first. I hope you're right about that, Byte Dan fan.

I am not sure that's the case. It certainly doesn't jibe with Doc Chocolate's observation about how many women want gangbangs. I think women feel that they need to put on a show of saying they aren't interested at first. I hope you're right about that, Byte Dan fan.

But talking to cuckolds and hotwives and cuckoldresses over the years, very rare to hear from a couple where it was the wife's idea and the husband had feelings or hesitated or balked, almost always the other way around. Says first time, but hopefully not last time, commenter Black David, as a black cis het male, I felt Doc Chocolate was a bit evasive when Dan pressed the issue of race play.

But talking to cuckolds and hotwives and cuckoldresses over the years, very rare to hear from a couple where it was the wife's idea and the husband had feelings or hesitated or balked, almost always the other way around. Says first time, but hopefully not last time, commenter Black David, as a black cis het male, I felt Doc Chocolate was a bit evasive when Dan pressed the issue of race play.