Dan Savage

It's rude, though, if you know yourself to be super loud, to do that fucking in your hotel room at 1 o'clock in the morning when other people are trying to get some sleep. So fuck at 7 o'clock. Or if your hotel has a 24-hour health club fitness room and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you want to be loud and the fitness room is in the basement, go fuck in the fitness room.

It's rude, though, if you know yourself to be super loud, to do that fucking in your hotel room at 1 o'clock in the morning when other people are trying to get some sleep. So fuck at 7 o'clock. Or if your hotel has a 24-hour health club fitness room and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you want to be loud and the fitness room is in the basement, go fuck in the fitness room.

Hashtag ask me how I know. Anyway, yeah. Fuck your other partners at their places or go have these on those hotel rooms. And thanks for the tip. Dayuse.com. I am going to bookmark that.

Hashtag ask me how I know. Anyway, yeah. Fuck your other partners at their places or go have these on those hotel rooms. And thanks for the tip. Dayuse.com. I am going to bookmark that.

You say you want an explanation. You say you're owed an explanation. What more do you need to know? He was lying to you the entire time you were seeing each other. Lied to you about being closeted, lied to you about having a partner, kept you really at arm's length emotionally, but also sexually. You were...

You say you want an explanation. You say you're owed an explanation. What more do you need to know? He was lying to you the entire time you were seeing each other. Lied to you about being closeted, lied to you about having a partner, kept you really at arm's length emotionally, but also sexually. You were...

used, manipulated, you were the piece on the side and you didn't get to agree to be the piece on the side, what more could he possibly tell you? What context could he put that in that would give you closure, that would make you feel any better about how this went down and how long it went on?

used, manipulated, you were the piece on the side and you didn't get to agree to be the piece on the side, what more could he possibly tell you? What context could he put that in that would give you closure, that would make you feel any better about how this went down and how long it went on?

Maybe he could tell you that he, with his partner, they've been together a long time and breaking up isn't really possible emotionally and sexually. They're not connected anymore in the relationship. Like maybe there's something that is semi-exonerating but not fully exonerating. That's a charitable guess, right?

Maybe he could tell you that he, with his partner, they've been together a long time and breaking up isn't really possible emotionally and sexually. They're not connected anymore in the relationship. Like maybe there's something that is semi-exonerating but not fully exonerating. That's a charitable guess, right?

Or he could just be a lying piece of shit who wanted a piece of ass in the city in addition to the boyfriend at home in the suburbs. And you were that not very inquisitive piece of ass who didn't make a lot of demands. And so it was able to go on and on and on as long as it did. In the future, so this doesn't happen to you again, you can let something be casual.

Or he could just be a lying piece of shit who wanted a piece of ass in the city in addition to the boyfriend at home in the suburbs. And you were that not very inquisitive piece of ass who didn't make a lot of demands. And so it was able to go on and on and on as long as it did. In the future, so this doesn't happen to you again, you can let something be casual.

You can let something grow and unfold naturally. You're still allowed to be curious. You're allowed to do your screw diligence. You're allowed to Google the people that you date or do a deep dive on their social media or Instagram, if only to protect yourself from exactly this kind of shitbaggery. But Yeah. He owed you the truth all along. He owed you basic human decency.

You can let something grow and unfold naturally. You're still allowed to be curious. You're allowed to do your screw diligence. You're allowed to Google the people that you date or do a deep dive on their social media or Instagram, if only to protect yourself from exactly this kind of shitbaggery. But Yeah. He owed you the truth all along. He owed you basic human decency.

He owed it to you not to lie to you and manipulate you. And he didn't come through with any of that. And I don't think it's rational, reasonable for you to expect that now he's going to, he owes you and is going to come through with an explanation or with closure. You could, if you wanted to, obviously you could nuke his relationship. You could write to his boyfriend.

He owed it to you not to lie to you and manipulate you. And he didn't come through with any of that. And I don't think it's rational, reasonable for you to expect that now he's going to, he owes you and is going to come through with an explanation or with closure. You could, if you wanted to, obviously you could nuke his relationship. You could write to his boyfriend.

My hunch is that if you did write to his boyfriend, you wouldn't be the first piece in the city on the side that he'd ever heard from that his partner was fucking. And so I don't think it would be worth it. You've, Wasted, not wasted. You were dating other people. You were living your life. He sort of entered your life and you guys had an easy thing and it went on. Just let it go. Let him go.

My hunch is that if you did write to his boyfriend, you wouldn't be the first piece in the city on the side that he'd ever heard from that his partner was fucking. And so I don't think it would be worth it. You've, Wasted, not wasted. You were dating other people. You were living your life. He sort of entered your life and you guys had an easy thing and it went on. Just let it go. Let him go.

You now know what you know and needed to know and weren't told about him. And you don't sound bitter, which is good. don't be bitter, don't get bitter, but do draw the lesson from this that you should, which is, you know, three months, six months, even nine months in, you can let it be casual and take somebody at their word. But four years in, at some point you have a right to know who they are.

You now know what you know and needed to know and weren't told about him. And you don't sound bitter, which is good. don't be bitter, don't get bitter, but do draw the lesson from this that you should, which is, you know, three months, six months, even nine months in, you can let it be casual and take somebody at their word. But four years in, at some point you have a right to know who they are.