Daniel Coyle

And on a personal level, what these communities require, what this process requires, is to put it really simple, kind of openness, right?

It requires the kind of relational attention that lets you connect to something bigger.

You have to be open to that.

You have to have some space between your ears where you can say, hey, I'm not the only story here.

Hey, I'm connecting to something bigger, whether it's that bakery, whether it's the story from your past, whether it's the place you are, the neighborhood you are.

that becomes the vehicle to connect to the collective but without that openness when you talk about people that are kind of you know that are that are a drag who are maybe in the drag is because they're kind of shut down and closed but i guess the thing that i learned is that there really is it's not the sort of line between being open and closed is much

much finer and it is sort of a switch that you can flip.

The science of that is interesting because it is these attention systems in our head are sort of competing all the time to see who's in charge.

And so when we are focused on something narrow and seeing the world through this narrow spotlight where we're trying to control it,

It can very quickly flip to the other, which is relational attention, open, broad.

I remember talking to a baseball coach who happens to be the coach of the Chicago Cubs, Craig Council.

We do some work with the Cleveland Guardians.

We were interviewing him for our managerial position.

And the question came up, hey, being a manager is pretty lonely.

What do you do when you're down and you're feeling really isolated?

And he thought for a second.

He said, I look around for somebody to help.

Somebody, somebody, I just, rookie struggling with something, clubhouse guy who needs me to help pick up towels.

I look around for somebody to help.

That was really a really small thing, but a deeply profound thing.