Daniel Coyle

When you'd measure raw fulfillment and happiness, it's not about intensity of experience.

It's about the frequency of them.

So those little interactions, when you're giving the thumbs up to the fire engine going by, end up being way more impactful on the quality of your life and your wellbeing than seeking out some really intense mountaintop experience.

No, it's true, it's true.

No, the overall studies of happiness and frequency of happiness, it's just the style of that interaction that shifts, but the social cure, the power of those interactions to improve on the train, whether it was consistent between introverts and extroverts, the style of the interaction might shift,

But the substance of those relationships doesn't.

And it's the same across the Harvard study of long-term development.

Across both introverts and extroverts, it is the relationship that matters.

Introverts and extroverts might have different relationship styles.

They might have different preferences when it comes to activities, but the fact, the kind of ecosystem of the relationship is what matters to them, because that's where the energy and connection and really what we're talking about here is meaning.

We're talking about meaning, which is ultimately the stuff that gives us energy, meaning is energy.

So it's across all sorts of styles.

I know.

Isn't that something?

I mean, I have to keep relearning that lesson myself over and over again.

And the good news, I think, when we look at our own experiences, we tend to get a little better at it as we get older.

I don't know about your experience, Mike, but it's sort of...

I think it comes from this sort of misapprehension, this misunderstanding.

And I guess we're kind of also sort of entrained and taught in the West, this very kind of individualized way of thinking and being.

We're all kind of entrained on this idea that improvement is about the self, that we're kind of...