Daniel Coyle

Are we even going to be together?

Are we going to be around?

A valley, a deep valley.

And that valley is really hard to go through, but what it creates is this clarity.

this clarity.

And so teams that can develop the habit, you might say, of turning toward each other and toward the adversity at the same time, like turning, there's a temptation when you hit that to isolate.

There's a temptation to feel sorry for yourself.

There's a temptation to look elsewhere, to get out of that situation.

But these teams, I saw it really vividly.

I think I tell the story in my book, The Culture Code, but there was the San Antonio Spurs

lost probably the most heartbreaking game in the history of the nba in in the finals a few years ago i think it's 2013 finals miami hit a few last second shots they were all set to celebrate the series win the championship they were i think 23 seconds from winning the odds of winning were above 99 but ball bounces the wrong direction three times in a row and they end up losing the game

they're devastated they are absolutely broken they had champagne in the locker ready to go but what their coach said is we're still going to the restaurant where we were going to celebrate get on the bus we're going to the restaurant together and

They went and he gathered the players at a center table.

And as the bus pulled up, the observer said the coach was Greg Popovich.

He looked as broken as a person could be.

He was absolutely spent.

He'd given everything this game and they lost.

The bus pulled up.

He stood up, straightened himself up, took a deep breath and then started warmly greeting

everybody as they came in the restaurant greeting their families pouring wine for people people said watching him was like seeing a dad at a wedding like he just was absolutely locked into making sure everybody had a great time and by the end of the night like they had reconnected they had processed together they had turned toward each other in their worst moment and that became the foundation for the next few years at san antonio they actually kept the unopened champagne bottles and they popped them the next year when they won