Darby Saxbe

I mean, I think culturally we are really in flux, right?

Like our understanding of masculinity has shifted a lot over the last few generations.

Our understanding of men's and women's social roles.

And I think the traditional father that a lot of us had was a guy who was pretty checked out, maybe absent, maybe hands off.

I mean, I write about in my book, I had an unusual experience because my dad became like a primary caregiver after my parents got divorced.

Yeah.

So I kind of got to see him go through a little bit of a transformation of his own.

But I think that's atypical.

And then it's like contemporary parents are trying to figure it out in this more egalitarian way.

But that can also lead to a lot of struggle.

So it's just easy for people to disparage dads.

And I mean, I'm kind of with that guy.

Like let's actually celebrate good dads and not just like make it this thing that we're like all kind of mad about.

That's a great question.

I do think that one's relationship with one's own parents does kind of provide us with scripts that can either be helpful or not helpful.

Like I have a chapter in the book where I talk about men who had traumatic childhoods and like how much extra work that takes to kind of like show up as a good dad.

But if men care and invest their time and energy, they can break those cycles, right?

So in terms of what makes for a good dad, I think it's not dissimilar from what makes for a good mom.

It's like consistency, caring, being present.

It doesn't have to mean always knowing the right answer or always being perfect.