Darby Saxbe

We followed families around their homes and

And we tracked what they were doing and I measured their cortisol.

And so I'd been watching parents and kids interact.

I was like, I'm an expert.

This will be a snap.

And then we had kids and both my husband and I were just like totally rocked by that and struggling with sleep deprivation and confusion about what we were supposed to be doing and feeling totally inept.

And I was like, if I'm as well resourced as an academic person,

And this is still hard for me.

This is a really interesting nexus to focus on because it is this big sea change for a lot of people.

Yeah, I think it was sleep deprivation and then also just like the fact that you can't just put a baby down and walk away.

It's like it never, like the switch doesn't ever really flip off.

Like actually the thing that surprised me most is when you're breastfeeding, especially with a really new baby, you have to do it like every two hours.

There's just no off button.

Definitely.

OK.

Like mom has a big head start in a lot of ways.

If it's a biological pregnancy, she has felt the baby kicking and has this relationship already developed.

And then the baby comes out is dependent on her for food.

And I think dads often feel like a third wheel.

They're not sure how to be involved.