Darren Waller

It was the inside that was different that allowed a whole different career or what people expected of me like to be like it was like night and day.

All the moments of joy and excitement that I thought were like real joy and real, you know, it was all in the highs.

It was all in the highs.

The highs of getting drunk, getting high, the highs of the validation from women, the sexual experiences, and things like that.

It was just all the highs.

I look back now, it wasn't really lasting joy.

That was a constant throughout my life.

It was just whenever I could have those highs, so it's like you're just chasing them.

Yeah, you go up, you go high, but then it's like you got to come back down.

And in the coming back down is where, you know, you're withdrawing kind of from that experience.

And like, when do I get the next one?

I would say leading up to –

So I was suspended once.

My first suspension in the league was before my second year.

It was for four games.

But after that season, which would have been before my third season, was when I got banned for a year from the NFL.

That was June 2017.

And leading up until that time,

it was me and a teammate that I had on the Ravens.

It was one of the only guys I would hang out with because we would kind of do the same things.