David Alan Grier

coal miners have black lung i have a beautiful beige tone blemish free lungs but yes you're just sucking it in now no one ever says look if somebody lit up a cigarette within a 10 foot vicinity of like someone with chad hey hey hey move it over take it out to take it out to the porta potties you're gonna smoke cigarette over here but i'm sucking up makeup i've i've i've become i've

I've become like the Estee Lauder woman, but just on the inside.

You know what I mean?

I literally have a woman trapped inside of me now.

She's trying to get out.

No, but it seems like a step in the right direction, but it really doesn't.

Well, either way, I've sucked up at least a powder keg worth of beige, Maybelline, whatever, over the last few years.

And what they do, what they'll also do with the airbrush...

It's a weird position to be in because you're trying not to breathe.

It's counterproductive.

It's counterintuitive, like where you're sitting there going, I'm not going to breathe.

I'm going to hold still, but I'm not going to breathe.

It's great.

If you're ever abducted, I'll be in great shape.

I'll be a guy, oh, yeah, throw me in the trunk.

That'll be a lateral move from getting this makeup applied.

This is awesome.

But they'll do it when they do, like, award shows, and they have a whole bunch of presenters and a whole bunch of, like, dancers and a whole bunch of models and stuff, and that's when they'll just sort of mow you through.

But it's just one or two people.

By the time you set up... Anyway.