David Charles Sloane
speaker
96 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
David Charles Sloane’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Portland Buckaroos. Who are the Buckaroos? They're just like an old hockey team. And what I love about the logo is that like...
Yeah, and then he has ice skates also. It seems like overkill. Well, I love it. It's like he knows that his horse might die. Oh, yeah. And he'll need to have his ice skates.
And one day I was driving by the cemetery that was the Muslim cemetery. And I was like, oh, that, you know, cemetery could be a cool thing to advertise for. So I went to their website, and it was like the most unhinged thing where they'd written the website in a first-person narrative. What do you mean? Like, I've got the website. I could read it to you if you want. Sure, yeah. Okay.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Muslim Cemetery, and trust me, I'm your final destiny. I reside in Denton along Highway 380 West, about 8 miles west of I-35 North. My size is 11.5 acres, and I'm 20 years old. Being quite seasoned, you can imagine at present I am home to about 460 permanent residents, with the heart to accommodate 2,500 more.
The writing reads, I have a complaint that you folks are not taking due care of me. Whoa. Yeah, and because of that, Denton County twice threatened to shut me down. Isn't it ironic and unfortunate with so much community around me, I'm still being neglected? Until a few months ago, I did not have the funds even for my monthly maintenance.
However, courtesy of a few Allah-fearing folks who took the lead, they jumped in and rescued me. I hope you understand that I'm the only stable and risk-free 401k investment option you have without fearing for any economic downturns.
It's always been in the back of my head, this like lonely, sad, desperate cemetery that was out there clawing for help, you know? So I was wondering, like, what happens if a cemetery goes out of business? You know, like, do they disappear?
Right. Like Spirit Halloween doesn't move in. Like what happens to that land? Right. And I mean, my question would be what happens to the bodies? Yeah, exactly. Like, you know, when I was a kid, I watched Poltergeist and they're like building houses over graves. And, you know, that creates all kinds of problems. But, you know, that's a movie like in real life. What happens to the bodies?
cemeteries are kind of a precious thing. It's a weird usage of land. So, you know, in Texas, I never thought about it because there's land everywhere. And like, it's not unusual to run into like an abandoned cemetery where a church used to be. And there's just like eight headstones there. You know, I never thought about it.
But this cemetery got me thinking about that more and more of like, well, what happens if a cemetery in a prime area goes out of business?
Happy hunting.
So, the simple explanation, and it's not that simple, but I grew up in a cemetery.
My father was superintendent of a 200-acre cemetery in Syracuse, New York. It's a great place to play, as long as you're not doing anything too stupid. And your friends, as I say in the second book I wrote, we didn't have any sleepovers.
To me, it was just where I was. I was there from the time I was six weeks old. So I actually worked in the cemetery starting when I was 13 and all the way into my 20s. I buried babies. I was part of a crew that buried full-bodied babies. and cremations, I filled graves, you know, almost all the things that you would do in a cemetery. So I have a more intimate, personal relationship with it.
And then I began to create a professional relationship with my dissertation.
I think it, in some sense, made me more aware of the practicalities of death. And so I didn't really feel the way that most Americans feel, where they felt a distance, an incredible distance from death. You know, I watched my father or listened to my father help grieving widows. You know, I've met with families when I was going to bury their baby.
I mean, I wasn't in a position where I could be so far away that I could live the American way of death. I was much more, you know, the death is part of life. It's part of how we live. And it's part of the natural cycle of this body of mine and yours. Nobody has been able to figure out a way not to die.
Even though tech bros are trying, they're in a long line of people who have said, well, I'm going to be the first, and we're still waiting for one to show up.
Yeah, I think so.
So in the 18th century, many small towns or larger towns in the United States had a civic cemetery, a government cemetery, a public cemetery. And then they had churchyards. And then they would actually have private, small, really small family cemeteries. And so you would have this mixture. It was a simple, say, quarter acre, half acre, and you just buried people in rows all the way along.
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