David Cooper

You ask someone to hang out or be a friend and they're mean.

What next?

All right, this next topic, and I mentioned it earlier, it kind of happened to me when I moved to a new city five years ago, when I moved to New York from, I was living in the Bay Area.

And before that, I was in Toronto.

So every time I've gone to a new city, it kind of feels like this.

You move to a new place, you start to get to know someone, maybe at a party or maybe a coworker, or maybe it's someone you met, I don't know, go into some activity and you hang out with them, they're an acquaintance.

They already have these established friends.

It feels like they already have their people

And that can make you feel lonely because it's like, oh, they've been living here for 20 years.

They already have their friends.

Why would they make room for me?

Is that a true narrative or is that just like a loneliness rejection thing that we spin around in our friend?

Also, is it OK if someone already has established friends?

It doesn't mean they can't make room for you.

I grow on people like a fungus.

I feel like the first time they meet me, they don't like me.

And then by the 10th time, they'll resign to me.

And that's when we become close.

Right.

For someone listening right now who does feel lonely but would never admit it aloud to their, I don't know, partner, to their coworkers, to their existing friends, what is a small step they could take this week?